Are You Scared Of Being Accomplished?

I sat down to write a singing-related newsletter but all the topics kept falling flat (no offense, singing, I still love you, but that's the truth).

At this moment, on the verge of 2017, my mind and heart are seated on the metaphysical equivalent of a Six Flags rollercoaster.

There's a fine line for me to walk with respect to divulging personal thoughts. I don't want to veer too far off topic -- you most likely found me online and enjoyed my singing lessons and info, and Dr. Phil moments might not be your thing --

But what the hell. Maybe we can relate to each other and stuff. 🙂

Here goes.

Accomplishment scares the sh*t out of me.

On the Grand Staircase of Life (I don't even know what that means? But let's embrace this architectural metaphor for a second) I do this thing where I painstakingly climb to a new, higher step, look around, smile, feel the accomplishment, take a breath....

...then feel the blistering altitude, the ensuing vertigo, clutch my pearls*, start screaming "It's too high! It's just...too...high!" and summon all my willpower / recite every motivational mantra / close my eyes and sway softly in order not to tumble straight back down.

(*I don't actually wear pearls.)

Bottom line: fear makes every accomplishment feel risky.

I'm pointing this out because this is way more subtle than I, and maybe you, ever thought. I always thought fear was OBVIOUS, like a villain in a movie. Sneering and greasy and wearing dark clothing and speaking in vague accents.

But in real life, fear works undercover. Fear stages subconscious sabotage. Fear dresses up as "common sense."

Fear isn't a monster. Fear is familiar. Fear tells us:

"If I [ACCOMPLISH X] then there are downsides. Better stay safe."

"And if I DON'T [ACCOMPLISH X] then there are actually many benefits! Life can stay warm, fuzzy, comforting, and status quo."

Here are some examples taken from "Fel's Fear Brain," a mysterious and baffling entity:

  • "If I become more confident, then there are actually downsides. I could turn off my friends, my customers, my family, and be a lonely, confident weirdo."
  • "If I DON'T become more confident, at least I know I'm taken care of, and life will stay normal and steady and familiar."
  • "If I perform more, then there are actually downsides. I'll seem like a stuck-up, attention-seeking nut. Worse, I could make a fool of myself, and invite ridicule, and make people think I *think* I'm so amazing, when in reality, I'm not!"
  • "If I DON'T perform more, at least I can stick to what's working, and not suffer any embarrassment or revelations that I actually suck."
  • "If I grow my business, then there are actually downsides. I'll lose touch with the people I love (you, my students), I won't have any time, I will stop being genuine, I will become a greedy freak, I will grow a goatee and laugh maniacally."
  • "If I DON'T grow my business, I won't have to worry about more responsibility, or any competition, or any other conflicts. I'll stay small but familiar, and unthreatening."

....I think you get the idea?

But even though I'm shaken and wary, I feel hopeful. Why? Because I'm NOTICING this dynamic.

Noticing fear's subtle UPSIDE/DOWNSIDE tactic is the first step to moving beyond it.

So I'm asking you to ask yourself, on the verge of 2017, to do the same.

Time to engage in a long, hard, intimate, maybe even sexy stare at your fears.

Ask yourself:

  • What am I holding myself back from doing?
  • Is it...singing more?
  • Making time for myself?
  • Taking care of my body and exercising?
  • Performing in front of others?
  • Auditioning for that local musical?
  • Speaking in front of coworkers?
  • Giving a lecture at a nearby school?
  • Asking for a raise?
  • Changing careers because WHAT THE HELL?
  • Starting my own online business?
  • Writing that love letter?

Fear will act accordingly. It will show you all the DOWNSIDES of acting up. It will also show you all the BENEFITS of staying exactly as you are.

But we know better now, don't we?

When you're on the "Grand Staircase Of Life" (lol this metaphor), and you summon the courage to take one step higher, before you leap back down, take a pause and remember:

  • You are not alone. We are all secretly worried, wondering, seeking, embarrassed, and winging it. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.
  • Acting with faith and courage is (1) easy to write in a social media quote, (2) really f*cking hard to do in real life. ("Leap and the net will appear" -- YEAH OKAY HOW ABOUT NO?) 🙂 But it will get easier.
  • Have patience through the fear. If you can feel fear or discomfort and not run from it, often you can literally change the feeling. A daily meditation practice (or daily singing practice! for many, singing = meditation) can help you hone in on these fearful feelings, and ultimately release them.
  • You are contributing to a higher good. When we elevate our state, and move toward joy, we elevate the mood of the planet. (Example: "Auditioning for that local musical means I will move closer to my dream of performing, which means I will live with more joy, which means I will encourage others to do the same.)

Here's the moment where we all take a long, cleansing sigh.

This felt good to write. I hope it also felt good to read.

I want you to know that I'm here for you, and that each and every one of us has a vital mission to move toward joy and the highest version of ourselves. That doesn't necessarily mean the big bucks, or the best grades, or the best house, or the best resume --

It means having the strength to perceive fear, and take each new step anyway. It means having the courage and faith that we've all got each others' backs.

I'm here for you. Thanks for being there for me.

Love,

Fel

P.S. Leave me a comment about anything at all. I'll read every single one.

AUTHOR

Felicia Ricci

All stories by: Felicia Ricci
218 comments
    • Ana Marjalizo Anguis
      REPLY

      I can´t speak English very well so I can´t understand everything you say but just to see you is such as interesting thing , your gestures, your face, your enthusiasm... I ´ve decided not to follow your videos because I can´t learn if I
      don´t understand . You know you are the best. Ana

      • David
        REPLY

        Hi Ana, you have taken a huge step into the English speaking world by posting your comment here and that’s an accomplishment. Please keep it up and never give up now. For me, English is a fourth language I learned. It was very difficult for me at the beginning; but fear it no more. Plus, I am starting to learn a new language besides vocal training (for this, my sincere thanks to Fel). I hope you’ll learn the language and continue to follow Fel’s wonderful video. Thanks!

    • Willemina van riel
      REPLY

      When you say it ,I listen and I get it...I wear pearls am over 55 and have spent decades letting the fear win .This weekend I take a huge step up the ladder (Diva Dance) Its high its complex and it is controversial (for opera purists) I have wept and screamed had nightmares and have felt so much anguish because it is very hard work sabotaging your efforts ....My voice coach is amazing simply amazing ....and you Fel have reinforced and put the finishing layer on what she is teaching me......YOU are amazing. I want to be amazing and long to share this with others in particular my family and friends. Thank you Fel for keeping it real...If you have ever watched the movie "Hunt for the Wilderpeople" you will know what I mean when I say ....SHIT JUST GOT REAL>

      • David
        REPLY

        Hi Ana, you have taken a huge step into the English speaking world by posting your comment here and that's an accomplishment. Please keep it up and never give up now. For me, English is a fourth language I learned. It was very difficult for me at the beginning; but fear it no more. Plus, I am starting to learn a new language besides vocal training (for this, my sincere thanks to Fel). I hope you'll learn the language and continue to follow Fel's wonderful video. Thanks!

    • Alicia Previn
      REPLY

      You are spot on and I love your candor and drive to share your experiences, feelings, fears because for me as a performer and artist, violinist/fiddler/improviser/collaborator I hear everything you're saying loud and clear. I like the way you express it as well!
      Thanks dear Fel from afar--you are nearer now ????

    • Cindy Capuano
      REPLY

      I am a 60 yr (ok 59.5) yr old mother of 4... Grandma of 9....who taught herself the guitar in 8th grade...I pushed 2 of my kids to take voice and guitar lessons. They went on to be talented worship leaders at high profile churches and I have been dreaming of doing what they do, but afraid to even consider it. No confidence...in guitar and especially voice! Well, I got thrown into leading worship for our college ministry (by default~ there was no one else!) Three months ago I had to play and sing in a microphone which totally freaked me out! My voice never sang in a microphone before and now I was on a stage for the first time! Just want you to know I have been encouraged through what I have seen on line. Thank you!! It is still an uphill battle. but I am beginning to enjoy it and not totally freak out! My voice definitely still needs a lot of help, but I am getting there. Thank you!
      Cindy

    • Arnica Langevin
      REPLY

      Hi Fel,
      I was in a bible study course this past winter. One of the ladies in my group quoted a saying, that has stuck with me. I don't know who originally stated it, or if it is the exact statement. Knowing that, I really should not be forwarding it. (All you academics, please don't come after me.) After reading your last note, it seems appropriate: "Fear knocked, faith answered the door and no one was there." This has been a useful reflection for me. I hope it helps you.
      By the way, I enjoy your tips and courses.

    • Coco Bastien
      REPLY

      Felicia, i love you, your so real and inspiring!!!~ Thank you for shaking me out of stagnation and paralysis with my fears. i choose to welcome now fears because it shows time to growl. You are teaching me. Your amazing. keep doing what your doing because whether or not i am steady on your course or not, just knowing you are there inspire and motivate me to be better singer. It's almost that, just se
      eing your name in my emails reminds me there is hope!! I love you Felicia, thank you for all you do in the visible and the invisible!

    • LaurieAnne
      REPLY

      hi Fel! Thanks for the pep-talk! you can never over-state the importance of it, or of the need for it! For many of us, battling life long demons of past conditioning, it IS food for the soul. I'm a newbie with a sh-t load of stuff to work through, like so many, I'm sure, lol. But much of my problem, I believe, is an emotional, and mental blockage! For most of my younger life I have always sang! I never thought I was a great singer, but I WAS a good singer. But some years ago I just stopped, not even a hum, just too sad, and life beaten to feel the music that I"d always felt, inside! But agin, as life goes, and thank God, changes, I have that, HUNGER agin, but I can't reach it! It fells like a locked door and I can't find the right key to get in! Any advice for an old nutcase?

    • Janice Reitz
      REPLY

      Fel, Hello, I want to thank you wholeheartedly for your words regarding our fears that we carry. This is blasting another light beacon at me to change and just act on my fears. We have a very hard family problem that occurred and talking about it to certain family members is hard, dramatic, drawn out, emotionally sensitive and draining to say the least. So your words here are invaluable to me. My singing is my free joy to the Lord. That is not scary. Now I know where my voice is at. But life is scarier. Thanks to a sweetheart, Jan

    • Maceo Leon Thomas
      REPLY

      Hello Felicia,

      I thoroughly enjoyed reading your "thoughts on fear" and how it works on the subconscious level to undermine our desires to succeed. You could not have stated the pitfalls of fear any better. As a matter of fact, it was masterful! Profound! Deep! And, as important, extremely illumining! We truly have within ourselves everything we need to succeed! And, for me, it comes from the God Force (Spirit of God), from within. Fear, as you so profoundly put it, stunts our growth. Your words of wisdom have been very helpful!! I appreciate you the way you unselfishly share yourself and you knowledge! God Bless!! Maceo

    • Jeannene Gambirazio
      REPLY

      I love this email, I have been having lots of fears related to doing things I have always wanted to do. Making the commitment to being a vocal student has been hard, but you have been so encouraging that I am beginning to have the belief that someday I will be able to accomplish my goals. Thank you for everything. You are a sweetheart!

      -Jeannene : )

    • Marko Paolo Tejada
      REPLY

      Hi Fel <3
      I just thought that I want to share about what I feel about you ( don`t cry and just laugh it out loud ) coz I feel like I became fond of you
      I know we never met before and I only knew you for watching your videos but I want you to know how thankful I am that I found you
      I want to take this chance to thank you for doing all of singing tips ( you inspired me to boost my singing skills)
      I mean, I've never seriously thought of going too far about singing ( I just love singing) and now I want to be a better singer

      I know there are lot of people out there like you and a lot of people out there like me
      And I hope I can express my appreciation and support to all of them ( I hope they feel it )
      I know we all have inspiration for the things that we love to do
      And we all have reasons why we become inspired on things

      And for you Fel, I feel like meeting you is one of the wonderful things that ever happened to my life
      And I want to know more about you And I want to learn more about your teachings
      Thanks for being there for us / I hope you're doing well / And I want you to know that I'm here for you too

  • Nic
    REPLY

    Love this post Fel. It sums up so well what is often hard to articulate. Let's take encouragement that there are others in this work who have "got our backs". This little singing community is one of those "others". Thanks for being you Fel xx

    • Lori Berger
      REPLY

      Haha! I meant so glad I found you!! Your post is inspiring. So authentic. I'm a new vocalist and have learned so much from watching your videos. I'm filled with fear at the idea of singing in front of others but I want to climb that mountain and scream from the top!

  • Joanne Read
    REPLY

    Your email has just touched my heart. I feel exactly the same way all the time. You have accomplished so much and you are so very talented, but fear is irrational. It doesn't care who you are or what you have already achieved. Everyone of us has felt the fear of the unknown and the fear of failure. I wish i could achieve even a small amount of what you have but fear holds me back everyday. Its crippling and hard to break free of sometimes.
    I just want to say thank you for your honesty and thank you for sharing your feelings, you are definitely not alone.

  • Anthony Rich
    REPLY

    Hi Fel
    I'm not scared of being accomplished. I'm am hurt, terribly that I am not working with my singing coach Chelsea.
    I don't like the online bit.
    If I can work with someone, one on one, a pro·té·gé,
    then I believe I will be a success as well as my partner, co worker, friend, whatever you want to call it.

    I had a project I was working on something, learning to sing, I know I have what it takes to be good at it.
    I am not interested in being a star, just would like to make some records, 45's vinyl, a and b side, album art, etc

  • Marcus Jernigan
    REPLY

    This was truly beautiful Fel really. Every word was true and thank you. I wish there was a way learn more from you(voice wise) You are such an inspiration to me I feel like my voice will get nowhere. I have some videos on my page if you could listen to and critique me that would help. I feel like I'm not good enough to be on a stage. I feel like I'll be sick making videos.. being a music artist is all want to be in life. I just need help. Thanks for listening.

  • Amandine Mangin
    REPLY

    Thanks Fel, it's always like pure air/oxygen to read you) I feel these fears so often actually, but little by little go through them and start growing. Confidence, this is a big thing for me to work on too... The funny thing is that people around me don't believe me when I tell them I don't feel confident, maybe I fake it a little bit) but I feel I could do much if I was confident... Like finally record this album I am dreaming of, perform and live the dream) well, anyway, big thanks again, you are a beautiful light and I am glad to have found you) Cheers!!!

  • Billy Rodas
    REPLY

    Great write fel! Really enjoyed reading and I felt what you were writing. I want to start an online business and I think im just gonna go for it, wish me luck! (PS. Keep doing you confidently because I think you're doing an amazing job 🙂

  • Jacqui southam
    REPLY

    Hey Fel,
    I love singing transformation and I think you are brilliant!!! My singing has come on in leaps and bounds and I have tons more confidence in my voice!
    I think you should always go for your dreams, but should also remember tour roots; don't forget or neglect the people who helped you get there.!
    I think you should relax, and think carefully about what you really want, stop sressing about it. If you expand your business, you won't lose all your old students; we will always be here for you ,should you need us.
    Enjoy your life, and be happy, and always stay that sweet, caring person that we all love xxx

    • Beth
      REPLY

      Thank you for this wonderful gift for 2017 Fel! You are a singer's counsellor /teacher.As well, you are a gift to Mother Earth and the universe. Being who you are and doing what you do and how you do it makes a world of a difference for many. Thank you! Merry Christmas ????????????

  • Richard parslow
    REPLY

    Hey Fel! You fell from heaven straight to my You Tube at a time in my life where I needed a guardian angel (that's you)

    I have recently broken up with my fiancee of 5 years and moved from the city (London) to the end of the country to live with my parents by the sea. At 36 years old no less!

    I have been a musician my whole life and a secret singer as I have never really had the balls to perform. I was determined to give singing another go and have done up and old acoustic guitar I found in my Dad's garage.

    My voice is coming on finally and thanks to your warm, friendly, hillarious and often crazy but always honest & inspiring videos. I have started to overcome by fear of being heard. Not only your technical lessons but all the confidence boosting/fear busting vids aswell.

    It must take great courage to put yourself out there the way you do and you are an inspiration to me at a time when I need a hero!! So thanks for everything you have done for us lot so far. And keep it going gurl!

    P.s I have a bit of a crush on you..

    But seriously you are the best!

    Rich

    England.

  • Sandra
    REPLY

    I enjoyed this text a lot, Fel! Thanks for being honest about this fear and I can definitely relate.

    For me, one big reason why I slowed the hell down on the belting course is that I'm struggling with vocal-related pain. I tense up and strain my neck muscles.

  • Zoe
    REPLY

    Yes! Isn't it amazing how Ego distracts us like this? When I get fearful I try to think if the singing as a gift - something I should share. It stops it being all about me! 😉

    Thanks for your writing - you've motivated me to go and make time to sing!

    Awesomeness!

    Zo xx

  • alan
    REPLY

    I really enjoyed this installment of your newsletter because everything in life boils down to love and fear. I am not a huge Harry Potter fan but one idea I do like from the series is the idea of the dementors: "Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself... soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life." I feel like I have had the dementor´s kiss sometimes when I am around a toxic person and/or am stressed and/or haven´t gotten enough sleep and/or haven´t been taking care of myself physically or emotionally. However, this has happened enough times that I have developed faith that these feeling will pass. After years of studies of Taoism, the Alexander Method, yoga, pilates, singing training, healthy eating plans, addiction therapy, etc. I have finally been able get some very positive results and I know that if I regroup and go back to these things I will regain my balance and things will start to look up. For me it is a loooooooooooooong journey and learning to accept that I will never be perfect sounds so simple but is anything but. So I have learned that I need to stick with what works for me, moderate exercise, making music, treating others with respect, eating as much healthy food as possible, nose breathing (it sounds stupid but it has changed my life), and continuing to learn from anything and everything around me. Some of my favorite teachers are people like Fel who are sharing their ideas with the world. These true teachers provide not only information but also inspiration.

  • Ryan
    REPLY

    Fel, so prowd that you are taking the time to better understand yourself, and the underlying reason of your fears in hopes of overcoming them. When you get to know yourself, and you are more intimant and loving of who you are, you find your voice.
    In a more quotable saying: Find yourself, and you will find your voice. It took a very crazy hike through a volcano crater (long story) to understand, but it really is true.

    When you have big goals or ambitions, remember that no matter what they are, the ultimate goal is always that you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. The most important part is enjoying and embracing every second of the journey there. Even if it's something you may view as bad, it can be hard to see but it is shaping you, bettering you. And if you feel fear or remorse, that means you aren't up to speed with what you'be been asking for. Let the feeling be a reminder or indicator of that, to help bring you back to focusing on your dream. Never lose sight of it. As you stop focusing on the things that are causing the feeling of that fear, the momentum will slow down and it won't feel so powerful. Seek the better feeling thought, acknowledge the fear but not trying to put a face on it, and watch what happens! And definitely don't grow a goatee. Glad I could join you on this journey.

  • Tanya
    REPLY

    Fel,
    thank you for this amazing letter.
    I cant even remember why i'm recieving your emails, Im just a bleating-voice-singer-in-the-car.
    It's been a long time since i once enjoyed your free video lessons.
    But they are unforgettable!
    I wish you happiness and satisfaction with your project and success.
    Admirer from Russia 🙂

  • Lawal Muhammad
    REPLY

    Whilst you give a staircase as the analogy with each step as an ever increasing level of accomplishment, I see things more from the perspective of photographs and albums. Why, because all of the accomplishments usual boil down to single moments in the past and its only when I think of them in the context of other moments that they have some other meaning.

    Fear is our ally. He encourages me to practice with diligence, he reminds me how far I've come so far and he keeps me grounded.

    He reminds us that a life lived without taking any risks, is only a life half lived.

    Get busying working, in spite of fear and then show him the photo album later.

  • J
    REPLY

    Hey Fel!

    I just found your teachings and this stuff that you do! Singing that is. Eversince I have started to sing more confidently and try to learn as much as possible about singing.

    I am not a singer or a musician, merely just an amateur (I play guitar a little€. But the way that I see you loving what you teach and do, has got me excited too and getting more into the art of singing.

    I believe that real commintment and focused understanding, kind of surrending, is the real way of learning something in a deep way. I see that you are very deeply in touch of the art of singing. You know what you do. This is what gives me hope about my singing too. All of the possible instruments in this world, I found that the ones voice to be the most interesting. And partly that is because of you!

    I hope you understand me, english is not my main language 🙂

    Thanks Mel!

  • Juliana
    REPLY

    Hi Fel!
    I've been watching your videos and using your courses for over a year now, and I love them SOO much. But, when I joined the programs, I never expected to be educated on things other than singing. Things like confidence, fear, self-worth, friendship, dedication, and love. I so appreciate everything you put out there for us, because each and every email, video, song, etc. is worth watching for me.
    I can't wait to finally start your Singing Transformation course (after trying to but not being able to get it four times!) and to dive into even better topics and discussions with you and this loving community I have found. All I can really say is... thank you!!

    I hope you're having an AMAZING week!
    - Juliana

  • J
    REPLY

    Hey Fel!

    I just found your teachings and this stuff that you do! Singing that is. Eversince I have started to sing more confidently and try to learn as much as possible about singing.

    I am not a singer or a musician, merely just an amateur (I play guitar a little€. But the way that I see you loving what you teach and do, has got me excited too and getting more into the art of singing.

    I believe that real commintment and focused understanding, kind of surrending, is the real way of learning something in a deep way. I see that you are very deeply in touch of the art of singing. You know what you do. This is what gives me hope about my singing too. All of the possible instruments in this world, I found that the ones voice to be the most interesting. And partly that is because of you!

    I hope you understand me, english is not my main language 🙂

    Thanks Fel!

  • Christina
    REPLY

    This felt great to read! A metaphysical rollercoaster for sure -- with your message perfectly and non-coincidentally timed for its relevance, resonance and inspiration. For me not only is singing meditation, but singing is life. Hard to imagine I'd let it slide as I have, but I blinked, then all of a sudden here we are... you writing and me desperately in need of this exact nudge of encouragement and inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing of your many gifts! Reading this I am motivated and then simultaneously reminded of a question that's been on my mind.... would love it if you would talk about how to manage emotion while singing. I often am overwhelmed by the beauty and connection I find when singing, and emotion wells up and gets the better of me and my voice. I would love to have some guidance on how to manage the emotion and stay focused. Thank you again for all you do!

  • Angela Fernando
    REPLY

    I feel the same way, Fel! I watched all of your singing tips and tutorials and I think I learned a lot. I always practiced and I always sang. But then when I finally thought I got it, I just stopped. I stopped practicing. I stopped my breathing exercises because I got scared. I got scared that this was all that there's going to be and nothing more. I badly want to be better but then I don't know how. I don't how to step up my game so I ended up being stuck in my comfort zone. But you're right. We should not be afraid of being accomplished. And we should not be afraid to do more!

  • Scott
    REPLY

    Nicely put. It's precisely this blend of fearlessness, selflessness, frankness and humour that reminds me what I love so much about you Fel. - Scott

  • Christel
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    As usual, this hit me like bull's eye!

    I was quite anxious for the coming year as well. This year, I enrolled in Singing Transformation and WAS SO GLAD I DID! It really transformed.. no.. still transforming (still in the process) my voice but the best part is that it awakened the inner artist in me that I tried so hard to ignore for so many years just because the universe is telling me that it is much much easier to just stick to the status quo and be just like everybody else.

    Long story short, I really wanted to make my inner artist shine next year but then again the voice of fear kept on shouting at me. Fear that pursuing my passion will just complicate things. Fear that even though I'll be able to pursue what I love, I'm still unsure if I'll succeed so why even try? And the list goes on and on.

    Just glad to realize that even successful people like you feels the same and that makes it feel more normal and manageable. Thank you for being such an inspiration.

    Sending you the love and support. 🙂

    • Lisa
      REPLY

      Thanks Felicia,
      I found this VERY helpful and your words came along at the right time for me.
      I also think it was very courageous of you to express these thoughts here.
      Thank you.
      I will continue to notice and feel my way through fear.
      Much love.
      Lisa

  • Ric
    REPLY

    Hey Fel, I came here for the singing - but the Dr Phil moment works too! Im glad you went with the flow and wrote this entry - lots of good asking of the right question in there. Thank you.

  • Laura Vismara
    REPLY

    Ciao Fel ?
    It's Laura, the Italian girl from Singing Transformation and from the webinars, don't know if you remember me 🙂
    I never usually answer or comment on the blog, but I read all the emails. The thing I love the most about them and in general about you and your teaching method is your enthusiasm and positivity. It just changes the way I think about my limits and my possibilities. And if you can make people believe they can do it, then you can also tell yourself that you can do everything you want to do.

    I have to answer this post because I've been thinking about this lately. Sometimes you think you are too enthusiastic, too happy, too confident, too grateful, too *positive and beautiful feelings*
    And then fear comes in and you cannot stop wondering if you are TOO much.
    What I realised is that you should never ever decide to be a little less just because someone -or fear- says you shouldn't be that happy, that confident, that enthusiastic. I've learned that when you are happy and when you try to spread your happiness you will inevitably be misunderstood. But you will also find the people who understand exactly what you are trying to say, what you're feeling. And that is just the best feeling in the world. Being happy and being yourself and being able to share the happiness with the right people.

    I don't know if this helped, I really hope it did.

    'I want you to know that I’m here for you, and that each and every one of us has a vital mission to move toward joy and the highest version of ourselves'
    I want you to know that I am here for you too. Even if it may sound stupid to someone, I am here for you too. Even if I am miles away from you. I will be there if you need a little reminder of the beauty you give to people, of the smile you give us, of the light and hope you encourage us to find.
    Thank you for being you.

  • Robert
    REPLY

    Dear Fel,
    Thank you for this wonderfull leter. I all ready learnd so much of your lessons and i feel that i steel have to learn a lot from you. Everything you say is so true. There are many things i contemplating myself over. Thank you for your words of wisdome. I am happy to have you as a mentor.
    Robert from Sweden ????

  • Judy
    REPLY

    HI Felicia -

    What a thoughtful letter to all of us. Thank you for taking the time to share your own fears and help us work through ours. I identified with everything your wrote.

    I practice my singing just about every day. Mostly driving home after a gym work-out when my body is warmed up and my lungs are wide open. It is a form of meditation. And it's a discipline - to do the voice/breathing warm-ups before I turn on the radio to sing along!.

    A huge leap for me has been opening my eyes, face, mouth and spirit when I sing and to let myself sound just awful! I have discovered sound I never thought I was capable of making. I don't know that I will ever sing in public, but letting it all out in front of ME, my biggest critic, has been a very satisfying experience.

    I love your site, the work you do, and the way you communicate, teach, motivate and inspire.

    Lovely holidays and all the best in 2017.

    Off to the gym now!

  • Daniel Netsah
    REPLY

    Hey Fel,

    I don't read all your emails or watch all your videos, but every so often I'll read or watch a few. They're just about always very helpful; some tutorials skip over things quickly, whereas others spend far too long and repeat everything far too many times - you generally tend to get it just about right for me. It's also really interesting to read all these issues that your facing and how they're being dealt with - I don't really care that they're 'off-topic' or don't absolutely directly relate to singing; you're absolutely right, almost everyone faces similar problems and it's great to read about how you very intelligently analyse these problems and reach new realisations about them which also help me to understand the problems. I also fear to take that other step on the staircase, but I didn't see before that it was fear - I thought I was being sensible so thank you for showing me I wasn't 😉 .

    I love all your work, keep it up! 🙂

  • Robert Rottenstein
    REPLY

    Dear Fel,
    Thank you for this wonderfull leter. I am happy to have you as a mentor. Everything you say is so true. There are many things i contemplating myself over. I all ready learnd so much from you and I realised that i steel have to learn a lot. You are very kind and moust av all very talented..THANK YOU.
    Regards Robert.

  • Kari
    REPLY

    Hi Fel, i guess you already know but thats just how our brain works, it picks up negative things all the time,
    Realistic or not.
    Go with your gutfeeling that is usually right for you. Its impossible to make everyone happy, but look at your trackrecord, people loves you, thats why we are here.!! Nice, funny, cute, relaxed, down to earth etc
    In my book the winner is a person like that, one that makes me feel good. I dont want to do "business " with people i dont like, why should i ?
    If your first priority is to help people, you cant go wrong.

    Best
    Kari

  • John T
    REPLY

    Good article Fel, which of course applies to a lot more than singing. Thanks. I've struggled with fear a lot and it became sort of concentrated and overwhelming with stage frighr. I've gitten over most of it thanks to the psychology you describe. But your article rings all sorts of bells of recognition from throughout my life. Well done.

  • Jeanne
    REPLY

    I started taking voice lessons a little over a year ago as it's been in my bucket list for several years (I'm 51). I've been singing in my church choir for 15 years and decided after a few months of lessons that I would dive into cantoring. Wow was that a big leap for me! Heart pounding, dry mouth fear! I started last February singing with another cantor on Monday night masses (not too many people). I'm now doing Monday's by myself (director has not "graduated" me to any weekend masses yet). My issue is when I practice on my own I'm fine but when I rehearse before mass with the director and when I sing at mass, I'm all over the place! Very frustrating and embarrassing! I question why I keep doing this everyday! My confidence lags after each dissapointing mass, and the fact that I haven't been asked to sing at a weekend mass proves my point that I'm not good. I have a wonderful voice coach, but I feel like I fall apart at the mass. The director isn't very encouraging either. He gives constructive criticism after each time I sing but he tells me things I already know I messed up with. It doesn't help that mass songs are all over the place and I have severe issues with anything in my passagio (sp). I have a pretty good range, but I prefer alto. Anyway, I'll keep plugging away, but not sure how much longer as I get more and more discouraged. I'll stay in the choir, but maybe not cantor anymore. Thanks Fel for providing the space to discuss my fears!

  • Isaac Swan
    REPLY

    Hi Fel! You aren't the only one thinking about this stuff!! Thank you for sharing your experience - You're so right that there is a big gap between the IDEALs laid out in meme's and cute images online vs REAL life. I laughed when you brought that up - its so true! i found myself reading your article this morning alongside this one from cari cole:

  • Marilyn
    REPLY

    Perfect. Thanks for sharing your fears...I share them. When it comes to performing, I finally faced the fact that some of us were just made to perform and we feel strong doing it. After all, we've overcome the greatest fear of all - standing in front of an audience. And that's just how God made me.

    I love that the disciplines we learn as artists can be applied to much of life in general.

  • lucyraverat
    REPLY

    hi Fel , I love your thoughts , and it arrived in my inbox just the day when I am suffering from exactly that , but in my life long love affair with painting , but it all applies equally . I sing too but as an aside as my main energy goes on throwing paint about . thats why I haven't taken your course , though I want to ; not enough time and a bit like riding two horses at once . anyway , the universe always finds a way to encourage us in the right direction . I love you . xx Lucy

  • Talis
    REPLY

    Babe, I love this. I'm a 17 year old girl with a severe anxiety disorder, and it often feels like accomplishments are far too scary for me. I'm working two low level jobs to earn money, even though I graduated high school with high marks because I'm so scared of going to Uni or furthering a career. It just feels easier to keep working a job I hate than to shoot further and achieve something. I know exactly how you feel and I appreciate this post so much. Thank you. xxx

  • Floortje
    REPLY

    Dear Fel,

    I wanted to thank you for this post. Fear is something that we all have, but are sometimes afraid to share with each other. And the funny thing is when you share it, that you'll find out that you're not alone with your fears. I can really relate to the things you just described in this post. I am afraid to take a big step to leave things behind to accomplish something that I actually really want. It's all because I'm scared to leave the cosy snugly things behind that I know and love. But most of the time when you want to accomplish something and there are things that change, most of the time it's a good change, and people around you will still love you and will even be proud of you. If not they're just stupid, haha!

    Thank you for being you, and for your bubbly personality! I enjoy reading your e-mails and learning from you.
    You're awesome!!

    Love,
    Floortje

  • Alan
    REPLY

    Fear is a handy emotion.
    eg. It stops you running out on the freeway in front of a speeding bus. Stage fright when turned to a positive adds energy, intensity in ones performance.

    The fear you feel about win/lose, being accomplished, being embarrassed on stage, is coming from the ego.

    Mixing up being shamed on stage, for something that happened when you were young.

    I am a professional sax player in Melbourne Australia, and an average singer. (you have helped me improve singing markedly)

    When i was doing advance public speaking courses, I cottoned on to the ego getting in the way (fear of public speaking being generated from the ego's fear of shame, embarrassment etc...)

    Once I learned to transcend my ego ( hell, no one was going to die, or draw blood in public speaking ) my public speaking sky rocketed.

    I applied this to my singing and not so much sky rocketed but there was no negative fear and i can still move people with my limited pipes, picking the right tunes that suit my singing ability of course.

    So I haven't explained it well, but the way forward is to transcend your ego. A bit like getting over yourself. Stop thinking that it is all about you if you move up the accomplished ladder.

    Hope this sets you thinking
    regards
    Alan West

  • Maria R.
    REPLY

    THIS is exactly what I needed to hear. I'm preparing for a something big on Sunday that passes all I've ever done, and I was feeling so scared everything in me wanted to cancel. But I'm choosing to stand against my fear! I'm tired of it holding me back from Joy! Thanks for the early morning inspiration ?

  • Penny Young
    REPLY

    Hello Fel, such a young woman for so much soul and knowledge..we are all unique in our own way, which was the way it was designed. You have so much honesty, sincerity and heart, these are the things that make one stand out and shine. Encouraging others while you are soo talented is a special gift. Thank you for taking the time to write and share your heart, made my day!! Move it! Move it girl! Love and compassion will take you to the top...share your gifts, we love them.

  • Hilary
    REPLY

    Hello Sunshine,

    This is so on point. Fear is a subtle, ever-present and ever-changing force in my life, and I'm sure many others. Although it may be subtle in our thoughts, it is incredibly and tangibly damaging in our body and mind in the long run and it's so so so important that it be talked about. No one is immune to it, nothing is untouched by it, so I think it is never really off-topic.

    Recently, I have become so painfully aware of it (literally) that I've had to stop and rearrange my entire life just to chase it out and build a wall (sorry, Americans) and dig a big moat and train a dragon to keep it from ever getting back in. It's a lot of work and it's a very sneaky little bugger.

    I have been carrying a lot of fears and anxieties with me my entire life for many reasons, and never pursued music as a result. Finally, due to some job-related stress and temporary insanity a year and a half ago, I dropped everything and said "f*ck it", we're doing it. And it was incredible. The best time of my life. And also the most fearful and stressful time. And all of those fears that I had built up like giant snowballs for ten years, about what would happen if I ever took the plunge (ie; people will judge me, people will laugh at me, I'll realize I'm not as good at this as I thought I was), became a reality, repeatedly, in some worse ways than I'd even thought. And it was embarrassing, and traumatizing, and stressful, and depressing, but I realized I was still alive and still here doing it anyways and that it was actually a huge weight lifted to have had the worse case scenario played out, because then it was out of the way and I could just focus on improving the known and not fearing the unknown. And I've been doing a lot of spiritual work, meditation, etc. ever since to work on those fears. And then the worst possible thing happened- I got tinnitus in both ears and was in constant pain and couldn't hear properly, and had some mysterious vocal constraint and jaw pain as well. I saw so many doctors and specialists (even a dentist) to try to solve these issues, but they all said "it must be hearing loss, or this or that, we don't really know, there's nothing we can do, sorry." And all my dreams came crashing down again. But eventually, I said "f*ck it", I'll just figure out how to sing at 30% without opening my jaw and with no hearing anyway (lol) and just really focus on taking care of my body and mind for support. And when I did that, I packed my bags, went to a cabin in the woods for a month with nothing but recording equipment and a giant cuddly dog (obviously), turned off my wifi, turned off my phone, and just meditated and sang and wrote an album. And one night, as I was doing some things to care for my body, I decided to reeally massage my head (which I always half-do but never really mean it), and I found giant knots the size of golf-balls hiding behind my jaw line on both sides, which took days and days to work out, and then suddenly my hearing and my voice started to come back and the pain in my jaw went away. And I realized that all of that stress and anxiety and all of those fears that I carried with me without always realizing were so present in not only my mind but my body too, to the point where they were breaking down my body and then messing with my mind in a whole new way. Trippy, amiright?

    Anyway, I'll shut up now. Your entry here was just really on point for me in so many ways. Also, I'd like to recommend the Be Here Now mantra (and book, if you haven't read it). It's changed my life and helped me to be so so conscious of my thoughts and to rewire my brain so those sneaky little fears don't slip through while I'm not looking.

    Thanks again for this post. It feels good to hear someone else talking about it.

    Alright I'm leaving now, I promise...

    Okaaaay byyyyee,

    Hil

  • Hendryx
    REPLY

    Hi lovely Fel,

    Your amazing!Love al your singing courses and i will defenitely give you my blessing and sepport on
    seeking out what your life has more to offer, XXX

  • Luisa Garcia
    REPLY

    Hey Felicia!!! Just read your post and you know what! THANK YOU!!! You really touched my heart and this heartfelt message really came with perfect timing since I'm going through a radical changing period in my life now that I moved out from my dad's and decided to take the exiting decision to study abroad, I really understand where this is coming from, I struggle with second guessing, I waste time just so I don't have to assume that taking my life with my own hands is my responsibility and my only chance to happiness but you know what that is OK because you and me are humans and therefore imperfect. Fear is normal and I believe I'm going to feel it as long as I breathe but I'm now ok with it because you are right when I identify it I know there is something important that I need to face and change or just take leaps of faith on what I believe is going to help me achieve wellness that's when love comes in, love is the key for me to keep going to push harder and what helps me to balance all those feara I feel constantly like you but in the end if you could take the time to realize this and share it with every one of us then I can assure you are one step ahead only you know what can make you happy and if I can share something with you is that I'm deeply thankful you are coming up with this amazing teaching content not only in terms of singing (and I can't tell you I improve more and more thanks to your amazing videos) but in terms of emotional health and positiveness. We won't get to beat fear but all I can say is that we get to do things we love. If I live in the present and thankful for what I have today I'm pretty sure great things are waiting for me and I just know that great things are waiting for you too, thank you for being you you've inspired me to grow to sing more and to feel more and that's what's all about right??

  • Caroline White
    REPLY

    Hey Fel,
    I totally understand the whole "being afraid of accomplishment" I'm a freshmen in college (BA in theatre) and got cast in a main stage show right off the bat. Awesome but also terrifying. After the show so many of my friends encouraged me to audition for the BFA track in acting and I said hell to the no. That track is for incredible actors, I like BA and I'll learn more about the technical side of theatre (which I'm not really interested in but it's good info to have). I'm realizing that I'm limiting myself because I'm comfortable. I'm comfortable in college and I'm getting good grades (what?!) and I don't want to screw that up. BUT I'm going for it. I'm going against a very strong instinct that says "stay right here" and it is the most unnatural weird and scary thing I've ever done, but I'm doing it because it's also and instinct to become the best at what I love and if that means being a terrified puppy in the middle of a pack of wolves then so be it. (That was just an analogy, people in the department are super friendly and I kinda have a lot of friends?! Weird). Anyway the point is, if a college freshmen can do it you can to.

  • Sam Lee
    REPLY

    Good day Fel,

    Firstly, you're such a bloody nice person! congratulations on that!

    this article was really nice to read and I feel compelled to enforce what you said and add my 2 pence,

    I recently had to play and sing at my brothers wedding having never really sung in front of relatives, I was absolutely bricking myself and very nearly ditched out at the last minute (the PA was dodgy and my accompanying music friend couldn't play!) , but with many months practice and lots learned from your kind self I went through with it and it was pretty successful, my heart rate and breathing was all over the place on the first song and I repeated a verses here n there throughout the set but generally, no one threw cabbage at me and evidently my dad shed a tear whilst I was singing Al Green! :o)

    In addition to people validating with compliments (always good for your scared little heart!) I was instantly aware that people acted more relaxed and sort of honest around me, like some sort of barrier was gone, people seem to open up to you more and be in a better mood when they talk to you, it's that elevated state you describe having a knock on effect to others, we are all much more perceptive towards body language and micro expressions etc than we may know how to explain but ultimately if you feel happy people around you will be happier, people will show you their best side.

    The last thing I wanted to share was a realisation I had a few months ago about letting go of fear when singing (it can probably be applied to anything) it's for anyone who is unsure of the quality of their voice and lacks confidence. Essentially you don't need to sing like Freddie Mercury et al to give singing a shot, to think there must have been hundreds of millions of professional singers since the dawn of man, throughout the thousands of years of civilisation, each one with their own set of difficulties, worries and fears, each one with their own voice. It takes the weight and severity off your shoulders if you see yourself as another blip in the history of singers, there's really nothing to worry about and no reason to delay singing if your voice isn't perfect, and besides, lots of recording artists can't sing very well(!) but they still make awesome music that connects with their audience and impacts their lives positively, most of my favourite singers don't sound classically trained.

    Also, it's impossible to sound actually bad if you practice for a couple hundred hours with great advice from talented people such as Fel, thank you so much for your contribution to everyone who wants to sing Fel, your legacy is sealed in the vaults of Youtube(!) and will forever make people happier all around the world.

    Much love from England, keep it feisty! X

  • Tea
    REPLY

    Hahahha I am so happy for reading this! 😀 I am on my work now (I adore my work) and got your e-mail. I live by Adriatic sea, town Opatija- take a look on google and come visit me 😀 greeeeat place to live, nice people, good climate, many good singers who are willing to give chance to young people. I am 26 year old girl with good social skills, I meet people easily and enjoy much in hanging out with people. I think my mission on Earth is making people happy. 🙂 For now, I only make happy my family..parents, grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts 🙂 I am always happy and have something encouraging to say or do. I have such a strong feeling I should perform and sing more, cooperate with my fellow citizens who are old and write amazing inspiring songs. They encourage me, but I have no enough courage and faith for making steps to my dream. I believe I will have many opstacles, my family would probably try to discourage me from being performer and encourage me to marry and have kids. Idea about following my dream is stronger everyday. And I think I have no other option than sticking to my dream. 😀 I needed so much this encouraging mail. Fel, 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • Joseph King
    REPLY

    Fear either crushes or motivates us. Harness it and you can accomplish just about anything.
    Fel, you should do motivational lessons too.
    I know you'll like to know I'm singing so much better I can't believe it myself. I'm
    Hitting notes and am developing a vocal flexibility that is amazing.
    You talk to me girl.....keep it up.

  • Ana Monetta
    REPLY

    Hey, Fel. Loved your email. Really.
    You're so sensitive and kind and AMAZING. <3
    Love to watch your videos. Love to read everything you write.
    I've found you online when I was looking for some vocal warm-up exercises. I gotta do those because I'm a teacher and sometimes I have to be louder than 30 students discussing Science (and 1000 other non related topics at the same time huahauahau). Can I tell you something? Even since I started listening to you and taking your tips, my voice is really better. I'm singing at church once a month now and guess what: it's been so nice! I've always loved to sing but I'm a really shy person. Huahuahua
    I just wanted so say thanks!
    It's really nice when people can reach our souls through words, sounds and actions. Just know you've reached mine.
    Lots of love!
    Te amando desde aqui!
    Kisses from Brazil!

    Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm still learning English huahaua

  • Hannah Jones
    REPLY

    Hi Fel!

    This post could not have come at a better time for me, so I'm overjoyed that writing it down helped you too! I totally get how fear can dress up like common sense, and how its oh so easy to want to stay comfortable and secure, because its so nice and warm in there!
    Well, up to a point it is. But, as you've said, by letting fear tell us all of the bad things about change, like going to an audition, for example, then 'safe' becomes boring. Like, really boring. But I love the idea of being scared and uncomfortable but staying anyway, so we give ourselves the change that feeling developing into passion and joy!

    The reason I said this has come at the perfect time for me is because I have an audition coming up and I've spent so long letting fear tell me all of the bad things, i.e it could all go horribly wrong and destroy my dream- but what about the good things? Like how much confidence it will give me by just showing up? Or how much better I'll feel by jut giving myself the chance to achieve something I've wanted for so long? And what if, although its a big if, I get in to the theater company?!

    There is so much more I could add to this but your post has pretty much covered everything- so I just wanted to say a massive thank you for all that you've done to help your students, we're so lucky to have you 🙂

    Hannah xx

  • Adolfo
    REPLY

    Thanks for the ideas, and tips. Fear may work as the antagonist of action and I really appreciate your ideas about this. Although this antagonism was sometimes in the past a crucial process that allowed us for safeness and survival, now a days it mostly contributes to stress and the restriction of our passions and motivations disguised like you said, as a "common sense".

    Thanks,
    Adolfo

  • Aminah Murphy
    REPLY

    Fel,
    Your email was inspiring to me. I know I'm still young and still have a lot to do in life but this just inspired me to just sing out and work on my singing career. I understand that the "Grand Staircase of Life" is obviously a HUGE step but I'm willing to take that risk. It felt very good to read that because you just told me just try even though you are worried, scared, nervous, etc... to just try even if it does not work out the first time. I don't know if I understood it correctly if i did not my apologies but that is the way I see it.

    On the other hand, Fel you are an amazing singing teacher. You taught me how to belt and do many other things that are now very useful for my music. Your tips really do work amazingly and I'm glad i found you because without a tn f your students would not be where they are today. We all support you in everything you do and we understand how you feel. But whatever you do, just keep on singing 🙂 you have made it too far to give up. Don't be shy Fel, you are already a music legend.

    ~Aminah

  • Ralph Robbins
    REPLY

    Hello Fel, Spot on. We have all been there or are still there ie don't change anything, don't rock the boat then we'll be safe. I am with you on all you say. Keep inspiring others, it's a gift you have and I love you for it.

  • Jasmyn
    REPLY

    I think you're amazing and dedicated. You've given me the hope that anything I put my mind too I can accomplish. I love singing, but I didn't think I had it in me to get better that you're either born with the gift. This coming from a self taught artist who drew cause it kept me occupied, and my brain quiet. I got better cause I always had a supportive family but until I actually realised I wanted to be real good is when it also got harder. I was playing it safe for so long... But I drew and watched tutorials and practiced. I surprised myself cause I passed the the barrier that I never thought id reach. I know I got it within myself but I'm scared that I won't get better...but I won't give up, despite the cringey sounds that come out haha. I'll put in the hard yards thanks to your wonderful tutorials. Practice makes PROGRESS!

    Lots of Love to ya fel

  • Kari
    REPLY

    Such an apropos post today Fel! Just yesterday while I was frantically tearing the house apart looking for my daughter's Social Security card, (where the heck is that thing? she can't get her driver's license without it!) I came upon her old baby box where I found my old head shot from my musicians union days... I hadn't seen it since she was a month old (stuck it in the baby box just in case my cancer surgeries didn't turn out well) ... and I remembered, I used to be at the top of my game, won every audition, and was full of confidence! "Yikes!" I said "What happened to her?" ... You help me think that girl is still in there somewhere! ...and that is incredibly encouraging!!!

    Thank you for being such an incredible beam of hope and light and love!!! Thank you for your willingness to be transparent and vulnerable!

    Fel, I hope you do grow your business! I hope you perform more! And I hope we, your dear fans, get a chance to poke the person next to us someday and say "Hey! There she is! That's Fel! She's remarkable!" when we see you on that Met stage or award show or on the radio or or or! Just go get 'm tiger!

    God bless you and bless you and bless you!!! s'agapo ~k

  • Nancy Mcintosh
    REPLY

    Hi Fel: I'm a voice teacher in Lewiston, ID. I love your nurturing positive teaching approach. I recently was hired to be our community theatre's executive director. I must say that every day is filled with the fear of doing new things, fear of making wrong decisions or offending people. I'm in the middle of my second week on the job. My heart is also filled with gratitude. I'm learning so much and meeting new people. It's a tremendous challenge and blessing. I am also maintaining my voice studio. Thank you for your positive thoughts about handling our fears. Keep it coming. I hope you have a great holiday season.

    Best,

    Nancy

  • Jo
    REPLY

    I am a firm believer of this: what you perpetuate in your thoughts will become reality. By extension if you think positive thoughts about your abilities and your future they will likely become truth. Fear is only the temporary inability to envision and affirm the positive reality that is already manifest in you, it just needs to be energized by you to become a factual reality. Fear will eventually succumb to the affirmation as the positive in you finds its way out and it WILL impact those around you, your community and the world at large.

  • Shannon Miette
    REPLY

    Hi Fel, I just read your letter to us (was it a letter) about fear. I write and teach college writing. First i have to say, that you are a talented writer: creative and deep. Second, I think that EVERYONE can relate to this. "There is nothing to fear but fear itself" Third, have you ever thought that maybe you are not really enjoying what you are doing, and that you are motivated by something other than enjoyment? Maybe if you ask yourself what gives you joy, your decision(s) will come easier. Finally, have you ever thought of being a writer for a while? You are good at it. I really appreciated your letter. Thanks. It is lal so very true and fear touches on many scenarios in our lives. e.g afraid to make that phone call to someone ?.

  • Betsy
    REPLY

    Fel,
    You have expressed what has been in my brain for years. Speaking as a self saboteur I (and I'l say in the past) have botched a song or line or , or , or... and wondered why I do that. I chalked it up to nerves but this goes beyond a song or play, I have turned from success many times. You have pointed out to me that the fear factor is both more simple and obvious and yet a more ingrained and ominous crutch. You taught us to "face the fear--understand it --then work through all the damage it does to us. I actually have made some small progress in that area and am more confident through extensive, "preparation to instill confidence".
    That helps with what I am already doing but I still hold back from being fearless enough to take on the next challenge. Just having you give voice to what so many of us feel gives me (us) solace and hope. I encourage you to keep the channel open. Your willingness to share doesn't make you "wierd" but valuable. I'm listening teacher.

  • Rodney Williamson
    REPLY

    Hey Fel, Since you brought up the metaphor of the grand staircase of life, I was just thinking that people move up or down staircases. They don't stay on the same stair. Not unless it's in an underground bomb shelter during an air raid and they might sleep on one stair overnight. But otherwise it's up or down., And if you aren't moving up with new challenges, risks and goals, then which way are you going?. Fear also tells me that if I don't go for new things, then actually I start losing the old comforts, the things already attained. Music practice is like muscle and physical training, and like learning languages: if you do it every day, you grow. If you don't, you start losing the ground gained.
    Actually I'm really writing to say thank you, because these lazy singer warmups really work! I went to my singing class yesterday with a teacher who used to sing at Covent Garden (ROH, and when she listens to you, she doesn't miss a thing!. Like she always does, she asked me how my voice was. Usually I mumble some kind of excuse, but yesterday I said with new confidence that I thought it was working well. And after a few vocal exercises, I said "See?" And she said "Yes, your voice is a whole lot better than last week" And at the end of the lesson she commented that it had been one of rhe best classes ever. I think she felt she could take me to new ground.
    Anyhow, thsnks and have to go... have (at least) ten minutes of warmup exercises to do!!
    Hugs,
    Rodney

  • Brandon Kobayashi
    REPLY

    Fel,
    I just wanted to say thanks.
    Thanks Fel, for taking the time off to write such a wonderful and inspiring email even when you didn't have to.
    Thanks for being candid, down-to-earth and for really just being a person in this world that continues to bombard us with what is "ideal".
    Lastly, thanks making a difference in people's lives continuously.
    Recently my gf had decided to call off the relationship, and really it was just a whole (pardon my language) sh*t storm of emotions convoluting inside. I was struck with that fear of maybe I really am not cut out to be with anyone and all the negative thoughts started to swirl and here you are sending this message with such deep meaning and something that really elevated the emotional roller coaster ride I was feeling inside. Really, it almost felt like God-sent.
    So once again thank you for giving me strength to go on and to face my fears.

  • Haneefah Abdullah (Phoenix)
    REPLY

    Good morning Fel,

    First time leaving a comment, but not the first time reading your emails. I sought to find encouragement to begin a self practice of singing until it was possible to actually take lessons, and that's when I came across you. Obviously we are all human and we all put on our pants one leg at a time, though some things we see others do seem like a far reach sometimes. I admire local artists for the reason of the humility still seen from the up and coming, and I admire people like you for accomplishing so much and still seeking to relate with your students/ fellow reading audience: on an emotional level, validating that their voices will be heard, etc. It's very mutual and confirms that authenticity which it seems so many people lack. I just wanted to take this time to thank you for that. Your last email just proved this in full, but also inspired me again in a different way. Fear is so real but how you phrased it is even more real: how it really is hidden in something so common for us, and we can really counter it by realizing what it is and acting on our thoughts of progression. Thanks again, and I wish you all the best on continuing to share: your voice, your insight, and your true self. I will be remembering this when it comes time to take that next step for me as an artist.

    All the best,

    -Phoenix (@HaneefahPhoenix)

  • marilyn haverly
    REPLY

    Thank you for this! Isn't it amazing how dressed up fear gets in order to make it seem like an intelligent guest whose advise should be followed? I loved that you pointed out how subtle it can be.

    This election cycle and the ensuing month has had a positive effect on me...I know--hard to believe. My response has been to open my heart in a significant way towards myself and others that has translated into more ease in singing. I'm presenting music programs with a goal of sharing love from an open heart, making a connection that's all about joy and I'm less tuned into self-consciousness and fear of being judged.

    When my intention is to embody acceptance and compassion, my reason for singing is transformed. (I'll say tho', that this is an exciting on-going practice--no perfection here, just yet.:-)

    I love your fresh, honest, caring ways, Fel! Hopefully, leading with your own love for singing will overwhelm any fear of what others may think, or any fear of losing connection with this part of your life. Your teaching videos, etc., won't go anywhere, right? And, so many of us have already benefited from your online offerings. That can't be diminished, either. Your continued insights and practices will lead you right where you're to go, if your own history can be a good predictor!

    This post will stay with me as I'm on the look out for fear in all its forms!

    Best to you always!
    Marilyn

  • Kelly.
    REPLY

    I wish I could take these cherry words and apply them to my life but anxiety is a section of me that I can not control. I can attempt to meditate or relax but I find myself always in fear and tense and all I do is step back more and more. I want to accomplish but it takes so much extra time and effort and no one will truly appreciate what I do or make. I appreciate this uplifting word but I doubt it will tie into any part of my life as I can barely get the motivation to move. But thank you none the less.

  • caroline Steininger
    REPLY

    Hi Fel, . I've loved reading this. Your videos are an inspiration. Your exercises easy to follow and understand. Im doing a bit more now in the Open Mic area as I feel this is a great way for ordinary people to get up and have a go at singing, we can all sing in the shower but getting up in front of people is another matter, I defeated this demon got up and sang in front of about 50 people in a pub about 6 months ago and loved it. Now I'm trying to give others that same inspiration. Face your fear and do it. I now hold local Open Mic for people to sing at and its a real success. I'm facing my fear each time I do it and its scary but afterwards I feel really accomplished. Thanks Fel x

  • Melissa
    REPLY

    Hi Fel, I am not really a singing teacher but am often pressed into service with underserved kids, in prisons etc because I volunteer and I happen to sing. I have taught Acting, Singing and Art, all on the fly. My credentials are a bit of education and the internet! Your lessons have been invaluable in helping me to articulate the HOW of singing (and totally reinforce everything my amazing opera teacher taught me). Someone recently said to me that we are ALL on the "Art Spectrum", some of us just get to practice it more than others. I do believe anyone can learn to draw and anyone can learn to sing (unless they are clinically tone deaf, then its a little tricky) We can all improve resonance and pitch with practice. Its a shame society doesn't see these things as important developmental tools for processing ideas and emotions. I pass you on to a lot of kids. Thanks for providing so much good info and training free of charge. You have some rockin' Karma...

  • Jen
    REPLY

    I so relate to this! I've been through The Artist's Way twice and I always get stuck at this mental block; fear that it might actually be working and I may actually progress! Thank you for your honesty. Feels good to not be alone in this.

  • Frozen Sunlight
    REPLY

    Hello Fel,

    thanks for your support and everything but I lost my voice and I can't speak or sing after a month of illness hit me.
    I'd like to just go on but I kept dragging my sick vocal folds for a long time.
    I tried only to speak or sing in chest voice and low volume but I cannot regain my head voice without pain or effort.
    When you are a singer then you understand that I cry right now.
    Need to visit the doctor soon and have a look on it again.
    As soon as It is possible to sing I like to start with your warmup's.
    All good to you, stay healthy.

    greetings

  • Megan
    REPLY

    LOVE your vulnerability and honesty! I've been meaning to write in and just affirm what you're doing. You can tell you're in your sweet spot. I'll name my fear... sharing and sending out my original music. I think my fear is failiure. What will people say if I fall on my face? What if I'm not significant? But I think scarier than failure is the fear of complacency. So onward we go... towards scary things! Xoxo

  • Gary Cifaldi
    REPLY

    Hello Fel,

    I Don't usually post (but I read, watch and try everything you post! 🙂 and for me this was so appreciated and well timed. I especially liked the “It’s too high! It’s just…too…high!” part. I often get that feeling as I progress in any endeavor. It's nice to validate that scary feeling happens to others as well.

    Best Regards....

  • Katie C
    REPLY

    I agree with Ms Ricci on her methods of handling fear. Just to add, I think the easiest thing to do before a performance to help you cope with fear is to remember why you're doing that performance. Is is to prove something to yourself? Is it to make others happy even for a few minutes? I believe the more unselfish the reason, the more courage you'll have for fufilling that purpose and that act of performing. Love for another person could serve as a huge drive for one's singing-helps you to forget about the fear.

    I am grateful for this site and this community of musicians. We need more friendly, supportive communities like this rather than TV shows and competitions that focus on pitting singers against each other for ratings. We should learn from each other much like an orchestra. I really appreciate how Ms Ricci actually takes the time to help evolve us not only as singers but as thinking musicians whereas majority of people in the industry don't give a damn. She shares the truth with us and gives us a voice we can trust. That alone makes her teaching efforts worthwhile and really speaks about her. So Ms Ricci thank you for this article and your courses.

  • Remy
    REPLY

    I needed to hear this, especially today. Thank you- maybe now I'll be able to face today with the confidence I need to get things done! It's so much food for thought... and so hard to admit that I'm holding myself back.

  • Sylvia
    REPLY

    Fel, thank you as always for being real, honest, relatable, and vulnerable. It seems you have conquered fear on so many levels. I'm writing because I signed up for Singing Transformation back in April (APRIL), and I still haven't started it. I know, shame on me! At first I thought it was just because I'm lazy, or worried that I can't devote enough time to it, but now I realize it's because I'm afraid. Afraid that I won't have the discipline to practice every day, or even every week. Afraid that I will start and realize how hard singing is and feel defeated. Afraid that I just don't have what it takes to sing without fear. I'm afraid of fear itself, which FDR said was normal, but really it's just messing me up. Heck, I was afraid to write this post.

    I think about your program every day when I'm singing in my car on the way to work, and I *know* I want to take that next step. So here I am, making a promise to you and to myself that on January 1, 2017, when I no longer have the holidays or work or travel as an excuse, I will click on the big green "I'm ready to start!" button. Now it's in writing, so I can hold myself accountable. Thank you for helping me conquer fear.

  • Nathaly Lauren
    REPLY

    What a timely blog! I was feeling kind of weird, an i just felt my intuition say i had a 'choice" , but i wasn't sure what that choice had to do with. this reminded me i was in a little bit of fear, with accomplishing many things in life, and honestly , you are the first person to seemingly and SO strongly pair up GENERAL confidence with singing. its was You that helped me notice how much general confidence affects singing, and you helped me realize my true power cause of your cute, funny, quirky so called "Dr. Phil out of topic" little blogs. 😉 They arent out of topic at all!!!!! in fact, perhaps the most important and hardest hurdle for many singers out there, and should totally be mentioned more!!!don't worry let Your inner Guru FLYYYY !!! xD I'm so proud of you, really, and honestly and it feels kinda funny saying this because I don't know you in real life, but it feels like a so honest and open and close "im proud of you" instead of just wind with words xD i feel like you're a close teacher , even a close friend to me ^-^ your openness to us is admirable and perhaps makes us all feel that way <3

  • Baydir
    REPLY

    Perfect timing Fel <3

    Today I had my first coaching session to really take a look at what I want in life, what my fears are and how i'm going to transform my life in the next 6 months. With baby steps. So i'm taking the bullsh.. by the.. horns? Something like that.

    Anyway, keep up the amazing work that you do! Not only as a singing teacher, but also with your energy, humor, and by being real. We need more real in this world. Keep shining Fel!

    I'll include a song I made because I just threw it online and are excited that it's finished, so what the heck!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDIEJTM_sRA

  • Liv
    REPLY

    This was such a relatable post, and just wanted to say thanks, i hated my voice but every time i would listen to one of your videos i would become more and more confident im myself. I wont lie, im not gonna ever become a singer however i will always love to sing, but i feel lile this email applies to so many things in everyday life. U have inspired me so much and thank you for that! Xx

  • Gillie Shilson
    REPLY

    Fel, as always, thank you for your searing honesty. I use your singing practise every day and bless you for it. Just a thought: I wondered if you had ever considered signing up for Tut's Notes From The Universe? He is such a great guy, a bundle of fun and energy and spiritual truth, and his daily emails really help with the fear. Just a thought. With love.

  • MissUn
    REPLY

    Thanks for your inspiring words: perfect timing for me. Yesterday I was considering giving up singing due to the anxiety and stress I always feel when I have to sing a solo. I really love singing but knowing I'll be doing a solo (even during a rehearsal) can ruin my entire week. I get so nervous that the poor-quality voice I'm so afraid of producing becomes the reality and I beat myself up about it for days (and I'm just an amateur, it's ridiculous). Any more tips like these (especially about performance anxiety in my case) are more than welcome. Keep up the good work, I love your tips & videos!!!

  • Lynne Holyoke
    REPLY

    I am taking your Singing Transformation course, working my way through very slowly, but it has served me very well in my weekly performances at the open mics I go to! I love your honest, self-revealing approach to teaching, and coaching your students! Lovely sense of humor, too! I could see you talking about this in a TedTalk format, but more than that, I would like to see you in action singing, acting, interviewing or conversing with others, just carrying on to show us what ever you are into! Your own show! You have such a way of getting through all the noise and connecting with truth and love. So needed! So powerful! I hope it is alright to share your blog post with others via Facebook. Thank you, Fel!

  • Prish
    REPLY

    Hi Fel, really appreciate you for writing that...because what you've said not only can be applied in singing but also many other parts in life...so yea I felt inspired ...thanks! 😀

  • Lara
    REPLY

    I have loved getting to know you. In this world of online connection, it has been a delight to discover you and see you grow and learn, as a coach and musician. But I'm gonna call you on this one....

    In response to, "You are not alone. We are all secretly worried, wondering, seeking, embarrassed, and winging it. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying."

    I say this with kind intentions - there are people who live without worrying, wondering, and seeking. I know one that has NO fear. And there are many that have little fear. We exist. This isn't to say, fear is never experienced (it's just really secondary, and has little effect on the quality of our lives). This has to do with what we're living for. If we live for what we want - our dreams, aspirations, relationships, the list goes on (and they're all seemingly pretty worthy ), we will always be enslaved. Life is not for any of these things. And as long as we make it about that, the struggle will continue. Life is for what we deeply know is true; seeing it even when it's tiny; loving it, feeding it, and growing and evolving as a result. Any personal agenda will always win and override the tiny voice of the truth. We may even get what we wanted. But it will never satisfy.

    Fear cannot be overcome. We'll never win. Why? Because we put it there, and we need it. Fear shows us where we are not listening to what we actually know is true (no implication here about your fears of failure). I mean this on a deeper scale. Where we are afraid, we're holding on, AND, using our power. This response is not meant as a solution, but a possibility...to receive this and just let it in.

    Fear is also, not important. The more we try to meditate it, expose it, stretch it, sit on it, bury it, the more it bounces back like a rubber band. There is only one response that really, truly opens the opportunity for more. Be okay with it. Let it be there. Be warm, soft, open, and kind in the midst of it. And give it NOTHING.

    In response to the part where you said! "You are contributing to a higher good. When we elevate our state, and move toward joy, we elevate the mood of the planet......"

    For most of us, underneath those good vibes is a sh**load of bad vibes, stuff we haven't faced, been honest about, and taken responsibility for. A world of well-intentioned good vibes, without a deeper foundation of honesty will not elevate this planet. Your comment is not with value, or some level of truth, and I can see why it would seem this way, but there's more....and to this world, that more its alien, and for most of us protecting our tiny little selves, it's scary. Our protection keeps us safe, we think. And that's how we stop ourselves from opening and evolving.

    Please know that I'm saying this because my sense about you is that you do want more. You ARE looking for answers.

    There are answers. And in the answers, there is no compromise. Life is for truth - to be its humble servant, and give everything to it.

    You are welcome to contact me at larayulesinghmusic.com, if you'd like to connect further.

    Oh, and I recently heard something that I deeply love, from a music coach. In response to a woman looking to master (she used the word command) her voice, he said, "you never will." There was more, and it was awesome. To sum it up in my own words. We can get to know our voices physically, and enjoy that process, especially in a physical way. Learn what muscles are meant to do the work, and let the rest stop working unnecessarily. We can be curious, interested in learning. And our lowest bar will increase, but we will never command our voices. As long as we're chasing that dragon, we'll never catch it. For me, this frees me up to just enjoy being vulnerable. Yeah, I go out of tune sometimes. Yeah, I make mistakes. But now, I let it go. Done. Onto the next. I'm learning and growing. And I'm free.

    Warmly and with love,
    Lara

  • Stephanie Bruce
    REPLY

    Fel, you're great. I save all your videos in my "Felicia Ricci" folder. I even encourage my students to watch them, conceding that you know stuff that can help them. You have such a clear and direct way of communicating and demonstrating techniques - unambiguous and practical in present time.

    I totally relate to your thoughts on fear - of success, of failure. Whenever I do a concert, even it goes really well, I have to hide out for a few days. I feel so exposed. I feel like - who was that person up there on the stage singing her songs? I recently made a fear breakthrough, literally confronting someone who had contributed to my feelings of being smaller than I am. It was very liberating.

    I think that most people who feel afraid have had voices in the past telling them they don't deserve success. These people are "not the boss of me" anymore. Even if we don't literally stand up to them, we can do so within ourselves. We come into the world full of glorious light and potential. Then our parents, teachers, friends, etc. proceed to make us small (even if they don't mean to). Sadly, we must then take on the task of proving them wrong.

    Possibilities abound. We are capable of greatness, and certainly capable of self-love and nurturing as we pursue our creative expressions. Thank you.

  • Elizabeth Daviz
    REPLY

    Fel,
    Thank you so much for this, it really helped me see in a new light. I've felt this way for a while and am so appreciative of you sharing this and letting me know I'm not crazy worrying about it!
    THANK YOU LOTS.

  • Tara
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    I really like this letter you sent.

    I love talking about facing our fears and moving closer to the life we love....I love it because I think what ruins peoples lives (yes getting dramatic) is the lack of knowing that this world puts chains on us. We have to be aware, and set ourselves free.

    Yes, I think it's really good what you talked about.

    What I actually do when I notice myself fearing to take a step is ask: "When I'm on my deathbed, how will I feel about this choice?" It helps put things into perspective and reminds me our lives are meant to be fun.

    p.s. I had a great dream last night where I was cast as the lead in a play! It felt so amazing. A little odd, since I was playing a man....but the plot was seriously academy award winning! I love good dreams.

    Love,
    Tara

  • Bubba
    REPLY

    Hi, Fel,

    Your positive attitude and belief that we can all improve our voices and attitudes are uplifting. I have been asked by my pastor to be a worship team leader in my church. Your warmup exercises are really helpful and I thank you for all the videos you provide. I just need to work on my guitar skills and vocal delivery of both the spoken and sung words.

    Aloha,
    Bubba

  • Mattie Mills
    REPLY

    Fel...

    Thank you.

    We are all connected. You "hit the nail on the head" with your message today.

    You linked arms with all of us who soaked in every single word you typed.

    Grateful to be cyberly connected with you.

    Mattie

  • Lucas D'Alessio
    REPLY

    You're a great inspiration! Your lessons and advice are getting me through a rough time and I thank you so much for that. Much love from Argentina, and I promise I'll sing, perform and do all the things I want to as long as it's possible for me! Thanks again and I hope you have an amazing end to this year, and an even better start for the 2017!

  • Dee McSweeney
    REPLY

    Look at these posts, Fel!!!! Just awesome. You are ALREADY accomplished. Look at all these folks, including myself, feeling blessed to "know" you. Keep that thought deep down in your soul. I'm sure many people in this community will understand me perfectly when I say that I feel you are the "Joel Osteen and the Super Soul Sunday Oprah" of the singing community. You are a singing motivational speaker.

    Your "Grand Staircase of Life" metaphor is spot on . . . . very well said. We all need to lift each other up. If it makes anyone feel any better, a few years ago I lost my good salary, my medical benefits, and I have been literally making a "poverty-level" salary for the last couple of years. HOWEVER . . . . I am determined and tenacious. Therefore, I have been diligently pulling myself up by my boot straps little by little out of the muck and mire that America has been doling out to hard-working Americans in the last several years.

    What I can say to everyone is this . . . . NEVER GIVE UP . . . . EVER. DO NOT let life distractions keep you from your goals and dreams. Don't let others (including those whom you love very much) try to make you conform to something you are not. Do what you love, and you won't ever work a day in your life. Surround yourself with people in the industry you love - whether that is singing or not. I personally feel it is wise to have more than one passion in life. That way, you can always be doing something you enjoy. There is nothing wrong with having a Plan B or even both a Plan B and C, which I do.

    We must have fear in our lives in terms of reaching our highest potential. If we don't try to reach higher, we will never grow and learn. I don't believe it is anyone's real intention to stay complacent in life. If we fail at something, which is inevitable to learn and grown, we have learned a lesson for the next level. "WHEN YOU LOSE, JUST DON'T LOSE THE LESSON". I don't like the word "failure". Just look at it as a life process that one must go through in order to come out on the other end victoriously. Muster up your courage to get out of your comfort zone. That is the key in life to accomplishing more and reaching higher goals to be more confident and joyful.

    I am doing it folks. No kidding. You have no idea. The last 4 years for me have been scary, painful, worrisome and anxiety-driven, but I'm still here, and things are slowly starting to get better. You need to keep fighting for what you want and deserve. Continue to have good conversations in the industry. Build relationships with people. That builds trust. That builds dependability and good character, which will lead to opportunity if you stick with your goals. There is no "magic pill", just hard work and determination. Rest if you must, but never give up.

  • Tinera
    REPLY

    Thank you for writing this, I needed to hear it.

    I have been thinking of applying for a job, but have been afraid to. What if I suck at this job? What if I hate it? What if I can't handle it? What if the person who had it before me was better at it? What if my coworkers don't like me?

    I already applied for the job because I figured I didn't have anything to lose, so that was a step in the right direction on my part. But I know if I were to get an interview, those same fears would resurface and probably keep me from taking it if I was offered it.

    But your post made me realize that I can feel the fear, but not let it stop me.

    THANKS!

    • Evelyn
      REPLY

      Hi - totally with you on this one...

      I'm going through the exact same thing at the moment. Applied for several jobs, just got interviewed for one (was totes nervous), will be interviewed for another one soon (much higher level than I am now) - and I am petrified. Feeling what the hell am I doing. Don't want to stay where I am but don't feel good enough for these new places, people, etc. fearful if I will actually like it, people trust issues, etc. but decided to go for it anyway and see what happens. Feeling terribly, terribly out of my comfort zone and like a mad scientist experimenting with the future.

      But, the thing that holds it together for me is that we are all alike and I am not alone.

      Let's hang in there and see what happens? I believe in God, so let's trust Him (or whoever/whatever you want to believe in)?

  • Eunice
    REPLY

    Fel, thank you so much. Thank you for taking the time - and the courage - to open up to us.

    Your talent, teaching capabilities, humor, and intelligence have shined through in all your singing videos, from which I've benefited so much and which I so enjoyed. But as I've started to read more of your emails and Facebook posts recently, I realized you have a beautiful, caring soul as well.

    Thank you for being an inspiration!

  • Bob
    REPLY

    Fel,
    Just read your newsletter. Fantastic. Thank you so much for being there. I'm trying to work through my fear of wanting to sing so badly, but don't feel I can and am afraid to try. I read everything you write. Thanks again!!!!!!!

  • Michelle Rowe
    REPLY

    Thank you Fel.
    I needed that.
    Fear is familiar. Its your best friend, to comfort you and keep you safe.....or so it tells you. And then before you know it, it has taken away the person you wanted to be.
    Unfortunately for some of us, conquering fear and anxiety feels like a battle that cant be won on our own. It has grown so big we cant figure out how to beat it....and the clock is ticking.
    It sounds like you have a leash on yours. I truly appreciate you sharing your emotional experiences. Its nice to know someone can relate on some level.
    If what you do inspires you...THEN YOU DO IT! If what you do gives you goosebumps and a warm feeling inside, THEN YOU DO IT! Stay positive! You never know who's life you will change.
    (I wish i would take my own advice. Lol)
    M

  • William Escobar
    REPLY

    Hey Fel,

    I just wanted to say that this read was very eye opening. I would plug into deep thought about fear and felt alone in that aspect, but now seeing you write about it, I now know that I am no longer the only one. I have to say, you have given me a sense of direction now, because I was so lost before. Just wanted to say thanks for being such a kick ass person.

    Will

  • Kristin Nitz
    REPLY

    Thank you! I know you have 1000 comments here, but I had to say Thank you as well.

    I have not sung a solo in almost 2 years due to falling down a flight of stairs and now I am doing two solos and a duet the month of December. I just finished a bout of laryngitis and my duet is this SUNDAY! Eeekkk! I am terrified out of my mind, Even though I am sounding pretty good at home, you know how it is once you get on the stage. I am afraid fear will take over and when I open my mouth....

    So once again thank you for putting it in perspective. I need to hit that stage and say to myself "I got this!"

  • Mariano
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    Your inspiring newsletter seemed to be addressed personally to me and my current situation. I'm now sitting on an airport, about 1500 miles away from home having a good chance of taking a big step forward and change my professional career for the good ... leaving my family and comfortable, well known current life behind.

    If I do so I'd loose everything I've got so far; I'd get into a country which language is unknown to me and scary to face learning. I'd loose my workout routine, my healthy diet, my loved motorbike and would have to rebuild my entire daily life from scratch. Even worse; if that professional gig doesn't go well I'd also loose the prize that would have cost me that much.

    In contrast, if I stay where I am, I'll keep all that and also have a boring, non-sense job, yes, but an actual job. And a comfortable well known everyday life I'm already used to.

    See the pattern? That's exactly what you have called fear. And despite the fact that it is not in disguise anymore it doesn't make it easier to defeat.

    It is in those circumstances that I've just read your post. See why I say that it seems to be actually addressed to me personally? I usually like (literally, clicking the like button) your twitter posts and get inspired by the quotes you share, but this time your advice has gone much further. It has talked to me in person, in confidence. You are not just my on-line personal voice finder; you're starting to become my "path in life" finder, my Joda master, the shiny light I look at when I need some extra-strength to move forward. And that's because the way you are and the way you address us, your followers. I cannot find the words to say "thank you" as I feel I should.

    It's true that I need you as a voice finder a lot. I have a really long journey ahead of me to really unleash my voice and become the kind of singer I'd love to be. But also I feel that I need something else from you, because you have already given me that. I just wanted you to know it, and hope you can read my message. Take my gratitude as a reward for everything you do for us, your followers, on a regular basis.

    Always in my heart, sincerely yours, forever,

  • Jetgirl
    REPLY

    Wow. Thanks Fel! I have these thoughts too. I read this and I thought, "Yes. That!" You are not only a great singer and a great online singing instructor (I love your online course I bought, even though I am doing it at a snail's pace. It's helped me with all my music, not just singing!) But you are a pretty darn good philosopher as well. Thanks for all the interesting articles and videos!

  • Marina
    REPLY

    Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts and anxieties. This means a lot to me . I will try as much as I can to apply your advice to my life and help others with the same fear!

  • Adrienne
    REPLY

    Hi Fel!

    Thank you for writing this. I struggle with this fear everyday. It seems I'll get a little further and then stop for a while and telling myself I'll get to it later. It's nice to know that someone like you also struggles. It's always easy to forget that we all struggle. Thank you for all your videos and understanding of singing.

    Adrienne

  • Sue
    REPLY

    Great timing with this message - how did you know. Strange thing about fear is that yo can recognize that you feel afraid and not see what it is you are afraid of. That's takes some digging - some uncomfortable digging and at the bottom is often 'No one will love me'.

    Sue
    xxxx

  • Crittles
    REPLY

    Thank you for this. It's absolutely relevant to where I find myself in life right now and over the past couple of years or so - that sense that I should be doing something more, want to be doing something more, am meant for something more, but recognizing I hold myself back. The struggle is real! I'd like to think fear has given me more time to try to figure out what that something actually is, but it's getting to the point where I feel like if I do literally anything, it's better than sitting around debating what that thing should be.

    Here's to summoning up the courage in 2017!

  • Martin
    REPLY

    Thanks for that, Fel. That was such an awesome post, so full of wisdom and insight. And it hits home. I'm literally in tears right now. That's how well it fits my life. We all think things are sooo complicated like "this isn't rational", "this is suicide", "I need to work on this and this issue first ". More often than not, that just isn't true. You hit it spot-on. I want to take the leap.

  • Van
    REPLY

    This was very well written and I am sure you have many great insights to share with all of us in the future. Looking forward to more of these Dr.Phil moments! (:

  • Libby
    REPLY

    Wow, Fel! You are such a talented and beautifully minded indivual! You are such a blessing to this world because most people with your talent don't shed their light on others like this. Thank you for sharing your revelations and experience with us. It truly means a lot.

    Yours,
    Libby

  • Patrick Good
    REPLY

    Thank you Fel, I needed this today. The crappy part of my brain tried to tell the good part of my brain that I shouldn't even write a reply, what's the point it said, you'll never read this. But I am not listening to that part of my brain today. You are amazing. Thanks.

  • Amelia
    REPLY

    Why isn't the comment area at the top of the comments, it took a long time to get here on my phone to comment I forgot what I was going to say...
    Good luck reading them all.
    Oh yeah and thank you for writing this and sending it to my email, we (my daughters and myself) really needed this.

    Sincerely,
    Had more to say but forgot.... Amelia

  • Samual
    REPLY

    Hey Fel, just want to drop you a line n say Thanks! I've sang for years playing in bands n had vocal training, but never was able to flow as i should freely n enjoy being me concerning my voice. i always wanted to have someone else's voice, honestly. It's like my vocal teacher said when i was younger, look at the bird. they don't struggle while singing. Lol But the examples n the way you describe the physical sensations to watch for in developing technique are very Good!!!! i already had breathing and support down but was struggling with being relaxed enough in neck and throat to allow the wind to do the work n even be able to focus on mask placement. i was getting ready to purchase a arsenal dvd pack of very well known teacher on line n told my wife... The stuff Fel has shared has made a huge difference, im getting this. I learn more from Fel!! ive watched the other teacher on line n im not getting it with him. My wife n i get a kick out of the way you teach and love it! it makes you feel comfortable in your own skin... example. like voice breaking video. ive actually adopted that, Lol i break on purpose before warm ups. just have fun with it. But ur making a difference, be encouraged!!! Whatever training you have available, i need it. it's made sooo much difference, really! And concerning fear... i personally believe, Love makes fear leave. So think on something lovely n swing away!

  • jazzi
    REPLY

    That was truly amazing and relatable. Thank you so much for your drive and pursuit in the tips and classes on making me a better singing. You are amazing and I truly look up to you. Loves and thanks....God bless....xoxoxo

  • tracey king
    REPLY

    oh my goodness, you've just made me cry. I really needed this inspiring thought xx I am embarking on opening a sensory room for children in my local town. I havent a clue what I'm doing and feel so out of my depth and keep thinking, what if it fails and where on earth am I gonna get funding quickly to pay the lease and equipment, but I feel as though someone is behind me pushing me forward and it both scares me and excites me. Thank you for helping release some of the fears through tears xxxx

  • Esther
    REPLY

    Your reflections on fear make a lot of sense...a year and half ago I joined a small Modern Square Dance club in a small city and have recently been toying with the idea of helping teach the basics to beginner square dancers. That's why I read your emails and use your warm-up tips...being able to sing will help if I get the nerve to try calling a square dance tips or two. Thanks for your encouragement.

  • Joanne Liaw
    REPLY

    Thank you so much for your courage in being vulnerable and transparent about fear, courage and the 'Grand Staircase of Life.' I believe that everyone feels that way although very few are brave enough to be upfront about it. God bless!

  • Dalton
    REPLY

    You are so right and I have heard it all before. But hearing it and putting into action ,that's a whole different thing.most people know what there capable of so we try to reach a point were we feel confident enough to cross that line of fear and go for it .some people think they reached that confidence and still fall on there face but they have broken the ice.others just keep trying to get to that point but somehow never seem to reach it.I am the latter,so what do I do ?

  • Daniel Brown
    REPLY

    Oh my goodness it is so relieving to read all these comments after that incredible blog post. Finally, literally for the first time ever, I TRULY believe that I'' not the only one who's afraid of succeeding and accomplishing what I want to accomplish. Thank you, Fel, and all the rest of you, for finally convincing me that this doesn't make me crazy. 🙂

  • Angie Aeria
    REPLY

    Dearest Fel,

    It is so wonderful to know that, in this vast expanse of Internet businesses, someone as genuine and honest as you exists. Thanks for your thoughtful sharing of feelings and insecurities that we all face. I thoroughly enjoyed reading through it and found it helpful!! You feel more like a friend to me then just an Internet Course Instructor. May u never change except to be closer to where u wanna be..God bless always!!????????????????????????????????????????
    Always here,
    Angie

  • Susan
    REPLY

    Hi Fel. I'm an older singer (59) and just starting out singing to the public. Found you on the internet and love it! You have given me a whole new meaning for singing and I feel inspired and enthusiastic. I have practiced your lessons almost every day - my voice has improved and I feel more confident. I performed my first show yesterday and it was fabulous. I couldn't have done it without you. Really appreciate your good work. I find you authentic and funny!. Love Susan

  • Ana
    REPLY

    Hi, Fel!
    First of all, sorry about my English, if there are too many mistakes writen down here - not my mother language. ????
    Second, and most important: I believe you've just described what's going on in my heart. I'm actually in a moment of great change - or at least I hope so.
    Let's say for now that maybe I've realized I'm not living the life I would like for myself, maybe I'm on the verge of seeking an entirely new college and career course - possibly the one I've aways knew would make me happier but was just to afraid to admit, considering the amount of time I'm my week that I spend singing, or dancing, or choreografing or something like that... ???? Rsrs
    Your text really hit me hard right now, when I just got home after talking to a friend about these exact same questions!
    I don't know what direction I'm going to take, but it feels good - and yes, safer - to know someone else thinks about it too, and that it's okay. Thank you, Fel!

  • Laurie McNamara
    REPLY

    Thanks, Fel, as usual, you are very encouraging. I have been using the techniques you teach for relaxing your chords and throat. I am finding singing so much easier now. I struggled and strained my way through before. Even the high notes of Whitney Houston's tunes are achievable now. Thank you for all you do to help the fledgeling singers out there like me.I hope for many blessings from heaven rain down on your parade.

  • Kimberly Sajatovic
    REPLY

    You are amazing! Love all of your videos. Love that you share your fears, it truly encourages me to practice and attempt to become a better singer. I am 60 years old and just recently learned how to play guitar and sing in a small band. We have such a blast learning new songs! Thank you Fel for giving me some lessons on how to improve my singing!! My band members are noticing a difference!!

  • Anoushka
    REPLY

    I'm so happy I have someone who thinks the same way I do. Every time I read a line I was like "SAME!" or like "I KNOW RIIIIIIGHT!!" Really relieved to know that there are beautiful people like you on the internet. Love from India!!!

  • Alison Sandoval
    REPLY

    Ok Ms. Fel,

    After reading this Blog, I feel like you have just given me a spankin' telling me "stop sitting on your *ss and reveal yourself to the world! Nobody said it was going to be easy!". But, I know you mean good. It's my anxiety that prevents me from doing anything I want to do. I would like to say that Anxiety is a label categorizing Insecurities, self consciousness, fear, nerves, etc. I don't know if that was a clear statement, but I, having social anxiety tend to avoid any interactions with strangers and think that I'm avoiding awkward situations all the time. I am in my 1st semester in college now and thankfully it has been easy to walk through the hallways all the way to my classroom.

    Thank you for your words of motivation. I truly think that I can become better because I have been little by little. I don't take any medications and maybe that's a good thing.

    I want to sing louder than I ever have. I just gotta take that mighty step and face my mighty moment.

    Thanks again for reminding me.

    Alison S.

  • Tiffany
    REPLY

    Hi Felicia!

    This was such a timely message! I am a Worship Leader at my church. Recently, I have felt God put the desire in me to start writing worship songs and recording them! I have a huge family and everybody sings. When I read this message, I was prompted to send it to family members, when I realized that it is for me! I am the one that has a new vision and desire to pursue music. I am so good at allowing people to get in front of me in line and walk away from things because I think someone else deserves it more. I am also afraid that my family will resent my endeavors and start ti dislike me. Just as I was feeling this way I read your email! Wow, what perfect timing. I don't have to feel as if I will lose my family's love or that they will walk away because I am seeking this new venture. However, if there are loses- the greater loss would be living with the regret of not trying!
    Your words referenced my exact fears. Although I see them in other people, I know that I first need to accept these truths for myself! I have lost careers, relationships, awards and so many opportunities trying to get everyone else to make it. Now, its my turn. Thank you for your encouraging words and genuine concern for those who face these fears. I am so excited to try the new desires of my heart!

    Love and Blessings,
    Tiffany

    P.S.- I need a good warm up to do everyday (for the rest of my life, haha) to keep my voice consistent, strong and with a nice tone. Please help! (I am naturally a chest tone-singer/mezzo soprano, if any of that helps.)

  • Tim
    REPLY

    So true, honest, and what I was just thinking to get me thru the rough lonely Holidays and winter. I would rather hibernate on it all than take action. Really have to face it all and take a step forward daily on this realization, end of another year and beginning a another year list. Thanks for being somewhat Dr. Phil for us all, Fel! Especially for articulating it and being vulnerable and at same time strong enough to state it. Thankful and love ya for it my friend! Now...go write a song, raise the roof in song or take a singing walk at a park and see the reactions...I did this a couple times and helped feel a bit empowered. I am starting to think/believe the world will embrace ones voice when it is true, vulnerable, passionate and it helps them too step forward more (lively?) and connect on a human level, amidst the technology and inhumanity or disconnected humanity the mainstream media seems to project and we have to absorb. Your true friends/students/family/circle will stay with you, no matter what happens is what I want to share with you. I was lost to this for many years after several deaths all at Thanksgiving to Christmas and it did not stop...till I realized, I was letting these 'life' events win and take me out of my own, true self. They may leave you (alone) for a while, but they will check in again and again. It is just timing and I believe God's nudges. Back to work on myself....Thanks for being truthful, you and sharing.

  • Bob.
    REPLY

    Regarding failure, or falling from some undefined height: What's at stake? What are the consequences you fear? Bouncing off the ladder rungs and crashing to the bottom? Get up, dust yourself off and start climbing again. Failure is an option. Failing to get up and try again should not be for the truly successful. Another aspect of failure relates to the comparison of self to others. This can lead to the development of insecurity, envy and dissatisfaction in life. Everyone has a graveyard in their closet. The ones that whitewash it and put up a sign that says: "Country Club" are delusional- Maybe dangerous or crazy.

    I haven't pulled the trigger on your course but I watch the free marketing videos and they are inspirational to an occasional Karaoke singer and Open Mic bar band guitarist. (I have made good use of your free advice. I'm sure you approve). Your cute, funny, captivating. Look at the comments. Humanity shares common struggles. Welcome to the club. Get over it! My fans at the Tavern are depending on me, I think. But seriously too I'm certain you have contributed to the success of quite a few vocalists. We need your teaching skills and contributions to our success.

    Best regards,

    silverfox.

  • Sandra
    REPLY

    I know that I am experiencing similar feelings and thoughts. Fear and uncertainty can often override our ambitions to be the best we can be.
    Sometimes the fear may stem from the uncertainty of not knowing how to be the best that we can be. Sometimes we might know what direction we would like to go....but the question might be how to get there.

    And another question might be...what exactly does it mean to be the best i can be. It certainly is a journey.

    Thank you for your thoughts and insights.

  • Donna
    REPLY

    This was a great read. I was watching a horse trainer on a video awhile ago and what he said was so simple, yet, so inspirational, I say it to myself when I get "stuck." He said, "You can't teach a horse to turn if he's not moving."

  • Lisa
    REPLY

    Absolutely brilliant and perfect timing, I needed that and so relevant to me with singing, I notice cd I sing less when I'm stuck and in fear. Thanks for writing this !! Xx

  • Andrea Perkins
    REPLY

    andreawperkins08@gmail.com

    Thank you for this article today! I am definitely that person wanting to try out for the community musical in a month and I'm avoiding practicing for it because the "not good enough" gremlins are getting to me. Why practice when you're not good enough anyway, you know? ???? Thank you for a reminder that I need to recognize the self-sabotage and politely show it the door. ????
    Are you familiar with Brené Brown's work on shame and vulnerability? If not, I'm certain you would love it!

  • Travis
    REPLY

    Thanks Fel. Great article on fear. This rings so true. I guess I am lucky that I basically have no stage fright but I have other fears in my life that this advice could definitely hope me to overcome.

    More in general I need to thank you. My singing skills have improved exponentially since I first came across you a couple months ago. In fact while I have been singing backup vocals in my band at one of our latest shows we did a song off the cuff and only I knew the words so I sang lead! And if I can (and I will) get the song down just a little better than I will be lead singer on that song at future shows!

    I tell people that I sing louder than I talk as I am very soft spoken but with a little help from great positive people such as you (and your video on actually speaking louder 🙂 ) I believe I can face my fears and speak loudly and proudly about myself and be more confident.

    Thank you again. I'm looking forward to your next message!

  • Evelyn
    REPLY

    Hi Fel, I hope you will read this (bonus for me if you respond! 🙂

    Oh yes, I am on that Grand Staircase too, and feeling very dizzy at the moment looking down and looking back way too much.

    By deciding to share your thoughts and writing this Fel, I think that you have actually saved me from doing something dumb, which is pull out of jobs I have applied for because of the very fear that you talk about. I don't want to stay where I am but it is safe, and easygoing, and 'who am I to apply for another role like that?' and 'I feel like a giant fake' and 'what if I am not good enough?' and 'what if I end up somewhere worse?' And when it comes to singing, 'what if I don't hit that note?' or 'I just suck' or 'OMG Christmas is coming and I have to be better than I've been all year long'? I feel like running away and become an international gardener, Amish farmer, or medicinal nutritionist.

    Am I the only one who feels like I'm going nuts???

    Your post has confirmed that I am NOT :))

    I have a job but have just applied for others, and am now attending interviews... all the while I've been thinking, 'what in the hell am I doing?', 'are they really interested in ME?', and worrying about ending up with bad people, a job I hate, fear, trust issues, nerves, etc. etc. But I've been applying anyway, 'cause, like you say, 'what the hell', just go for it? On top of saying goodbye to friends, work colleagues who don't want to communicate anymore, the death of good people in my community this year, international and political tumult, wars, finding more white hairs on my head, singing/voice maintenance, health and fitness, and on and on it goes.

    I have shelves bursting with positive books, music and singing (thank goodness!), motivational quotes surrounding me galore, but at the end of the day, you are right, it's that subliminal, subtle, creep of fear that is rearing its ugly head. Your post has exposed it, brought it to the light, and for that I THANK YOU. You are not alone at all, and I am so glad that you wrote this.

    And I've been thinking, 'Fel should write a book about this' or 'Fel should host a webinar or video about this'.

    Your post DOES relate to singing. I've been feeling like this post for the last 2 years, and it has been affecting my singing more so this year. Emotions/fear affects mind affects mood affects body affects singing. It is all related. It is all linked. And we are all linked - but we just come in different 'packages' (i.e. bodies). But by exposing our fear, we can learn to deal with it together.

    I feel that 2017 is the year for us, and for the world, to bring to birth something better, something more - we are going through the birthing pangs (another metaphor!) and don't know how long the labor will be, but my hope is that it will be worth it in the end.

    Sending you lots of virtual hugs and kisses Fel - believe me, we are with you.

    XXXOOO

  • Brittany
    REPLY

    <3 <3 <3 All the hearts. Thank you for this post! It's brave and beautifully written. I will definitely be "sexy staring" at my fears, and you better keep doing so as well!!!

    I remember when I first came across your content, I was scouring the internet looking for your performances because I loved the few that I saw. I want to see more & I'm super excited if that's in the works!

  • Susanne
    REPLY

    Hi Fel and everyone out there!

    Even though most of us know all this its so, so very important to hear it again and again and again.......... Especially from people like you Fel, that I personally thought had overcome it all. You seem so incredable confident and you have such passion. You give tuns of good energy out to the world. So to me it has twice the impact to hear that you are just like me - struggeling with fear, wanting more of life and stubborn as hell. All the years with Anthony Robin tapes and I still need to read what you just wrote. I still get this nice feeling in my tummy - YEA - LETS GO FOR IT! in any area of life.

    Thanks Fel and Merry Christmas and a happy, powerful 2017

    Susanne
    Sweden

  • Brioni Faith
    REPLY

    Hi Fel! This was an awesome post - thank you! You are on the money... :)))

    You might love a book by Dr. John Demartini called the Breakthrough experience.... it's all about understanding benefits and drawbacks and why we are compelled to do what we do, human behavior is a fascinating thing!

    He goes into what you were writing about, with every fear of failure there are fears of success - as you wrote and speed them out so perfectly!

    What he also teaches is how to dissolve the fears. So let's say, "I fear this happening... " so if that happened - what would be the benefits? When we can write down and list the "benefits" to these things happening, there is no more fear. How would "the thing you fear" help you achieve your goals?, what would it make you do...?

    I love this stuff. Thank you for sharing.... and spelling out some of my own fears there!
    Great stuff. Have a great weekend Fel, you deserve it!

    Brioni xx

  • Ricardo Correa de Sá e Benevides
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    I suppose that the fact of writing these thoughts are part of a "facing fear" moment!
    Yes, daily we face this mental boycott itinerary, a majority of people tend to adapt to this.
    So, I thank you for your effort and help, everyone needs it daily.
    Just wish to add that it sounds much more attractive (to climb the mountains) once said in a intelligent and good humoured way, that's what you did and have been doing.

    Grettings from Rio de Janeiro

    Ricardo

  • Sushant
    REPLY

    Hey Fel ! this was really a very inspiring post. i really needed it as my high school exams are impending on my head n' am fearful of not scoring so good in it..every time i start studying i start thinking that what if i won't get good grades or what if my whole syllabus won't get complete???what should i do..or where to start n' all those what ifs again n again leading to tension n all creepy anxiety stuff which makes me feel less confident n it affects my vocals adversely i start feeling that i have sore throat or i just can not sing n sometimes am not even able to sing beco'z i cant hear loud voice of myself in that whole pressure n fear. but this post really calmed me down and reminded me to just go on n don't be fearful. thank you fel for being there for us n we are there for you!!!!
    Sushant.

  • Carla
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,
    Although I've watched many of your videos, (and learned a great deal from them), I've never commented or replied until now. This post was really inspiring and relates to fearful thoughts I am also not unfamiliar with. As a young person these things are so important to hear, and you wrote beautifully. I've been telling myself to start up a youtube channel for over a year, and with the help of your singing videos hopefully I will in 2017 🙂
    Thanks for everything fel, and keep doing whatcha doing because it's great x

  • MR Noblesses
    REPLY

    Everybody has that moment , only thing that is important is what you gone do about it
    let it get to u or go out and look for new inspirations & goals
    there is so much more then just that , your mind is creative and has a passion
    what do you really want to do , do it
    let nobody make you or change how u are even when moments
    are down and not feeling right

    There is always a better day in the end.

  • Samantha
    REPLY

    Awww, Fel.

    I just turned 40 and I have felt that fear my entire life. Thank you for putting it into words.

    Thank you for taking the chance and showing your vulnerability.

    We're here for you, too.

    Peace and joy,
    Samantha

    PS - I love your YouTube videos. Like, really love them. I was traumatized as a kid and have been afraid to sing ever since. Your videos have given me a lot of confidence. Not just the instructional videos, but the ones about overcoming fear, too. I can laugh at my mistakes now. Thank you, from the bottom of my butt.

  • Marianna Newman
    REPLY

    You are a warrior! You are empathetic, authentic and real...YOU DEFY GRAVITY!!!! thank you for sharing and sharing in a way that makes you vulnerable!!!Vulnerability is a sign of strength and I am so happy to know you through our internet and singing workshop friendship! You are amazing and truly revealing about the REAL fears all of us may encounter at different stages in our lives. Thank you for taking us up the elevator and on that roller coaster with you.....No wait.....with YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are so intoxicating when you speak to me and you give me HOPE!! How about that???? Hope! Confidence......willingness to face the FEAR.....face the fear with the strength of FAITH. Faith in reaching our notes, faith to "step up" into a new realm of BEING!! Thank you so much! I am sending big big hugs and warmth that will be with you throughout this season and with you throughout all your NEW and powerful decisions!!!! Love you Fel!! <3

  • Lulu
    REPLY

    Love reading your heart felt existential observations Fel xxx I think about the same things and it is comforting and invigorating to know you are thinking about them also, and that you believe in sharing them with us! Thank you 🙂

  • Lizette Chapa
    REPLY

    Wooooow... you are an amazing human being, and of course a great, no wait... an extraordinary teacher. Your writing was so intimate that I felt we were friends. I never leave comments but I felt impelled to do so. Yes, of course I have felt that fear... sometimes I believe I feel that fear of success because I feel I don't deserve it. But of course we all deserve it, we all deserve to be happy, loved and fulfilled.
    Continue to be yourself and climb so high that you'll feel the presence of God and you'll never stumble. Continue to be humble and never loose your ground.
    Thanks again. Warm regards, Lizette

  • roy clarke
    REPLY

    Fel I love your simplicity, you reach the inner sanctum of my being, and I appreciate your willingness to be felt from such a vulnerable place. I believe that this reveals your pearls, your beautiful gift that is the essence of the creator spirit. For every person that you touch in this way ceases to be alone and resonates as one beautiful song. Lets continue to awaken each other to our true divine abundance, your blessing is infinite. Love always, Roy.

  • Susanna G.
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    I just wanted to let you know that I love all your newsletters and videos, every word you say (and the way you say them!). Congratulations for the great work you're doing inspiring and encouraging people! Thanks!

  • David Jones
    REPLY

    Hi Fel. I have had fears all my life but I read in the Bible that God has not given us a spirit of fear but a strong mind and a heart of love. When I started realizing that, I claimed it every time I sang whether religious music or secular. I ask God to help me to demonstrate His glory and then I charge at the task of singing my songs. Fear disappears. I have started singing with a BIG BAND. I had never done that kind of music before and it was so easy for me and I'm able to craft some jazzy things into it to make it my own. I still do my Roy Orbison Tribute show. I've sung every weekend both Friday and Sat nights for the last 3 weeks, some Christmas and some just entertainment and some church. On another topic, I don't like your use of the F word. Mainly because it is either a sexual term or a curse word but the two are opposites, so I think it's just ignorant for people who don't have a grasp of the language. You are not one of those and I hate to see you just join the culture to be cool Dave

  • India
    REPLY

    Fel,

    I always relate to you and am grateful for your honesty. When I look at you and your talent I can forget that you still have self defeating thoughts like we all do. But, you know what to do with them (EFT). This is helpful. I am ready to succeed. I am ready to let go of the boogy man fears. Thanks.

  • Emily S.
    REPLY

    Hello Fel! I've never commented before, but I felt I needed to tell you this is exactly how I've always thought. Very great and inspiring read! Thank you so much for being you and being real. I've been watching your YouTube channel for a long time and use your lessons...they have helped me SO much! I have to say with God's help and encouragement and you also, I've been in my church's worship band since June 2016 and I love it!!! I go through the fear of thinking I'm not good enough, but also don't want it to be about me, but want to sound pleasing to help others be inspired to worship lol. I must be good enough or better than I think because the worship leaders keep putting me up there and don't yell at me and have also paired me with an accomplished singer. So...anyway, I want to say thank you for your help and I ask God to bless you in all you do! Have a very blessed Christmas and Happy New Year!

    Sincerely,
    Emily ????

  • Glaucia Almeida
    REPLY

    Everytime I read one of your posts it feels like I'm reading my own thoughts. I am affraid of so many things, but mainly I'm affraid of failing in doing the one thing I think I was born to do and that it to perform. I just feel so much pleasure being on a stage be it singing or acting or both and yet I'm so scared that I'm always holding myself back. For what reasons? Why am I so scared of success? I'm still to find the answer, self sabotage is so my second nature that I don't even know how it would be to live without it. So thank you for sharing, when someone you look up to goes through the same thing you don't feel so different and alone.

  • Vanessa
    REPLY

    Hi Fel! I want to take singing lessons and go on America's Got Talent next year! You are so inspiring, and also down to Earth, which makes a wonderfully potent concoction!:D I am subscribing to your channel on YouTube, your videos are so amazing and true. I am a multipotentialite, raising awareness of other multipotentialites, because there are many people who don't know that they are multipods. A multipod is someone who has many different interests and hobbies. Anyways, thanks so much, and my website is adventurers-anon.com! Tootles!

  • Veda
    REPLY

    Insightful, helpful, humorous, encouraging!! You're a great teacher Fel, I just love ya!! (and I'm a picky one when it comes to teachers) Thanks for all that you share. I can't wait to take your course! And this article was awesome. I probably read it three times. Thanks again, for all that you do!

  • Lily
    REPLY

    Fel,did you really read all this .....??It took me half an hour to read all this!SERIOUSLY?If you are really reading the comments please reply....anyway i love this site,you are awesome........keep going and well done
    ....(is it ok that i called you Fel?)

  • Richard Rodriguez
    REPLY

    Hi Fel RIchard here and no I DO NOT NOR AM I AUDITONING FOR IDLE. But
    thanks for 2016 got in October or so and the ride was incredible. Better yet this really
    capped off my YEAR!!

    You are contributing to a higher good. When we elevate our state, and move toward joy, we elevate the mood of the planet. (Example: "Auditioning for that local musical means I will move closer to my dream of performing, which means I will live with more joy, which means I will encourage others to do the same.

    Thanks kind words and concern for others is what our creator created us for AND to SING!

    2017 will be great! Thanks for kicking my year off with kindness, concern and seeing fear for what it is.
    A CHALLENGE!

    Richard

  • Linda
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    Thanks so much for your post. I know of what you speak!! I am a wannbe, part-time writer and full time writing *teacher* which is close, as Groucho used to say, but no cigar. It is fear that keeps me from devoting more time to my poetry and fiction, and your post has encouraged me to do that. Thanks for writing from the heart.

  • Lydia
    REPLY

    So reading this was very nice. It didn't spark any epiphanies, but I completely saw where you were coming from. I'm the kind of person to get really exited and take way too much on my plate, and when I fail it makes me not want to try anymore. It crushes my motivation. I tend to then move on another project like art or Japanese and I get really exited then the cycle repeats.

    I know I should budget my time and efforts better, I know I take on too much for me to handle, but when I get exited about some new project its like nothing matters anymore. I become without reason and when the people around me notice it, they know I'm gonna crash and burn but I sweep them up in a cloud of charisma and convince them I can do it and then I fail.

    In fact, I didn't realize until yesterday that at the beginning of December I picked my art back up and haven't sung a note since. Just a week ago I decided I need to get better grades so my most recent project is studying and suddenly art means nothing to me.

    I think I have the opposite problem to you, I don't fear achievements, I want them so bad and so wholeheartedly that I shift from project to project not really getting all that much done. I want to do so many things, I want to improve my art I want to learn Japanese, I want to get back in to writing, I want to maintain journaling, I want to improve my music in band, I want to improve my grades, I want to get in to making digital music with FL studio, I want to learn more Music Theory, I want to do so many things that its physically impossible for me to do it all at once, so I am forced to pick one or maybe two if I'm lucky at a time.

    ................. I dont know what the point of this was..... I am gonna keep my studying faze for now because midterms and stuff... its not hurting me in any sense of the word. My singing... probably... but at least my grades will be sparkly.

    I'm taking your webinar on the 15th, thank you for making it a thing, Fel.

  • Emma
    REPLY

    This is beautiful. I started reading this and I couldn't stop. I relate to this sooo much. THANK YOU FEL. Thank you sooo much for writing this. I needed this way more than I realised I did. Thank you once again.

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