If You Feel Stuck, Uninspired, Or Lost

There have been times in my life when I have not practiced my singing. Like, at all.

As with any long term skill, my commitment to singing has had peaks and valleys, especially for the past three years. Sure, sometimes I’ve felt jazzed, but more often than not I’ve been in a “bare-minimum-maintenance-whatever” mode. I practiced a couple times here and there, or not at all. :-/

My excuse was:

I’m good…enough. As long as my singing is decent, I can demo things in my videos and lessons. If I lose my skills a little, what’s the big deal? It’s not like I’m singing for audiences anymore.

(Ugh. Just reading those thoughts back to myself is hard. What an uninspiring point of view!)

And because I felt so uninspired, my singing suffered.

When it comes to singing, or any long-term goal, frame of mind is everything.

When I am not inspired, I lose momentum. When I lose momentum, I stop tending to myself and the things I love. 

In my “good enough” phase, my singing skills began to fade. Stuff that used to be easy (belting, delicate controlled singing, long held notes) took more concentration and effort than ever. The less regularly I sang, the more my muscles forgot what great singing felt like. And tension began to creep in like crazy.

I was treating singing like a chore. Rather than mentally CELEBRATING my singing talent, I was focusing on everybody else’s singing. I neglected myself, and was secretly preparing for my downfall.

Oh well, I thought. Time to pass on the torch of singing to the next generation.

This defeated frame of mind was undermining my vocal instrument — something I’d worked my whole life to grow.

And, let me tell you, it was not a fun thing to witness.

Until, one day, the shift happened.

I’m thrilled to report that I’ve felt a surge of energy, optimism, and commitment to my voice. I’ve written about this in a couple of newsletters, so you’ve probably already heard stirrings from me already, but quick recap…

I’m an ARTIST! I’ve come to terms with the fact that I cannot live my life not performing! It’s simply time to pursue my lifelong dream of writing, recording, and performing my own music. Because if I don’t, I will just explode!

My process of realization has been long. It has involved much soul searching, journaling, contemplation, and devoting meaningful time to reawakening my voice.

I know from your comments that you can probably relate to my story.

You are all at different places in your singing/career/life journeys. I know many you have encountered that feeling of plateauing, or not feeling as stoked about singing as you once were.

That is so okay! You are not weird! And you are not doomed! We can totally get the fire back. And here’s how…

HOW TO GET THE FIRE BACK INTO YOUR SINGING:

  1. Set a short term singing goal that makes you giddy with excitement. This could be big or small — as long as it makes you psyched and can happen in the near future. Examples: “In two weeks, I’ll record a love song for my significant other.” “I’ll finally get up and sing karaoke next weekend.” “I’ll audition for a new agent next month.” 
  2. Set several goals for the next 6 months to a year. Mine are: I’d like to share music with my mailing list (you!), write 50 songs, record my first album, and perform live locally in Philadelphia.
  3. Set one ridiculous, so-fun-it-tingles goal. Think of this as your “ultimate dream!” Mine is: I’m standing onstage, looking out at a stadium of people, and we are all singing the same melody together. The feeling I get when I picture this is so warm, electric, and tingly!
  4. Commit 100% to a singer ritual. I say “ritual” because your practice time is sacred. For me, I’ve been warming up every day, rain or shine, and combining it with meditating if I have time. If I don’t have time, I stick to basics: lip trills, diaphragm breathing, jaw, tongue, shoulder stretch (10 minutes is better than no minutes).
  5. Make practice fun and INSPIRING — and visualize your goals! When it’s time to write music I light a candle in my office to stay centered. I also have full view of a Vision Board on my wall, where I’ve posted inspiring photos, many of them of my favorite female artists. I even put on crazy outfits sometimes! I’m talking gold lamé crop tops and light up LED sneakers (not kidding).

And these days? My voice has come back like a long lost friend. I’M EXCITED, INSPIRED, and COMMITTED, and my singing reflects it.

So don’t tiptoe around calling yourself a “singer” or an “artist” or a “musician” or a WHATEVER. Don’t tiptoe around your goals. Don’t be embarrassed by your dreams. And don’t despair when your enthusiasm seems to dip.

Singing is a lifelong process, and we are all in it together.

You don’t have to have everything figured out. Look at me — I’m still flailing around wildly! I have no idea (1) what my timeline is, (2) how exactly my career is going to come together, (3) what my music is going to sound like when I have some “finished” songs, (4) when I’m going to be comfortable sharing it with you guys (soon, don’t worry! I know, I am so annoying!).

BUT — AS I TEACH, SO I DO! I always encourage you guys to go boldly forth, pursuing your passions, so why don’t I do it, too! THAT IS THE GENERAL IDEA! Let’s not fret about the details right now. Let’s get INSPIRED. Then, one foot in front of the other. And the staircase will appear. 🙂

I promise you, it’s going to be spectacular!

With love and so much freaking energy,

Fel

P.S. Let me know if you have experienced a dip in your singing confidence and enthusiasm by leaving me a comment! I read every single message. xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AUTHOR

Felicia Ricci

All stories by: Felicia Ricci
108 comments
  • Emma
    REPLY

    Thank you Fel so much for writing us this? I go up and down in practice for my singing practice. I was scared to even listen to music and for others to hear me. I had this weird thought that it is not a job, it brings nothing, singers are poor. So focus on getting a job again. But really singers and actors are such soul searchers and some of the most honest and empathetic people. It is not general of course. Singing brings me and others joy. It is a hobby and something I love to do. I love your posts and find you a VERY inspiring human and teacher. Thank you for your braveness of writing to us all and sharing what you know ????????????????????

    • Jon Jacoby
      REPLY

      Hi Fel, thanks for hitting the target of what happens regularly for me. I’m not the singer I could have never been and guitar is my voice. It’s the same thing though. I still have moments where voice is a pipe dream and I listen to other coaches. I really like Justin Stoney, he knows the anatomy of voice and how vowels and consonants effect anatomy in exercises. Dr Dan is good as well but the kIwi accent give me post traumatic stress from douche aussies I worked with. You’re the best though… You make me laugh and that’s what singing should be, a spontaneous laughter, joy. The baby waah! exercise is the one for me. being self inspired is hard. It takes a community to grow a true deadbeat musician who will lie and cheat their way to the stars ignoring lifes necessities and avoiding responsibility at all cost to pursue unattainable goals. I’m lucky I have a job that is so boring it makes practice seems exciting and I practice guitar at work (selling alcohol, cigarettes, junk food and gasoline- every thing that makes America great again) daily. Sometimes I practice singing at work too. So I have a unique balance of filling the responsibility gap with slacking, singing and playing guitar while contributing to society in an a meaningful way that will promote it’s decay and decline. That said it helps to have partners. My cellist is back from music school and our Arts council has hired us for the labor day arts fair. Good money! We rehearsed last night and I’m inspired again. It’s so much easier to play with truly great musicians, I played so much better. I know I’ll be disappointed later when he goes back to school and I’m again on my own to play mediocre music. None the less the average person doesn’t recognize good performance and thinks computers are all that music is these days. The inorganic homogenized sound lacking dynamics and expression upsets me so I never listen to modern digitally recorded music. rarely an authentic musician is in town and just being near them puts me in a place where practice and performance gain results. Otherwise it is a daily process of watching paint dry, grass grow and glaciers march slowly back up the valley as the world decays into a self serving hellscape.

    • robert
      REPLY

      I always pratice my basic steps at work. If I had time I would describe my job, but I don’t. Pratice breathing, jaw position , lip, and notes to a degree. Most people at work think I am talking to myself, but like I care waht they think.

    • Karen
      REPLY

      Omg thank you so much for this fel, I really needed to read that as many others did too i’m sure. I basically live at work while still making time for music and sometimes im so exhausted from work that I don’t practice and it makes me feel terrible but im going to follow all of your steps thanks so much again!!! It is exactly what I needed, I guess the universe does know best because as i soon as i opened my inbox there you were lol. Love and light!

    • Joseph King
      REPLY

      Fel, thanks for opening up!
      This I can share…there is no blueprint for success no matter the endeavour. Success blooms from determination and tenacity. Taking risks, and moving outside our comfort zones, is also a must.
      If you do not have the jitters you are not going to expand your abilities.

      I read once that even the great Caruso, had to hang up his practice and rehearsal sneakers and get the hell up on a stage and sing!

      Ask any artist and they’ll tell you the painting is never finished…they can always be made.better. Ask a singer to perform and they’ll say his or her voice is not quite ready. Point being we’re all locked into
      Our comfort zones but like Caruso we need to force ourselves out of the easy chair and go sing!

      Keep up the good work, you are an inspiration for many. Of out here.in Cumberland. You are for real! Believe it!

      Joe King

      • Joseph King
        REPLY

        Hi webmaster
        Last sentence in my reply a moment ago is incorrect. Please change from
        “Of out here.in Cumberland. You are for real! Believe it!”
        To
        Of us out here in Cyberville. You are for real! Believe it!
        Thanks
        Joe

    • Ioana Nistor
      REPLY

      Hello Fel!

      I wanted to share this with you. I am a singer for as long as I know, when I was a little girl I used sing to everyone and to stand in the middle of my neighbourhood streets and walkways and sing along loud and free without caring that someone could judge me,or how my voice sounded ,by that time I didn’t judge myself as I do now sometimes. Those were the most beautiful moments as a singer. Well, after I tried to play at the violin and piano(didn’t work out) I learned classic canto and whenever I watch your videos I remeber most of the tips from my former teacher,she was a special lady who believed in people’s potential,like yourself. After high school I got into a cover band,and I kind of got myself into everyday rehearshal vocal program,because I needed to. Overall we sang together like 3 years and then me and my boyfriend started a two-members acoustic band. I moved to Chicago almost 6 months ago, and the past 3 months I worked and worked and worked and I was exhausted all the time,phisically exhausted and I haven’t rehearsed for so long, I feel. And now I am taking a break and honestly I feel rusted but in the same time feel like I had enough with everyday warm-ups, it’s a strange feeling of lack of iinspiration and energy, feel like I need to sing with a teacher in the room :), sometimes it’s just like fitness, when you have someone by your side it’s better. I feel like if I’m gonna practice alone with my laptop again,I will feel like theory…Most of all I am trying to find my style so I can write songs. Thank you for posting all your videos, keep up the amazing work! I would love to take an actual lesson with you face to face :)!

  • Emma
    REPLY

    Thank you Fel so much for writing us this? I go up and down in practice for my singing practice. I was scared to even listen to music and for others to hear me. I had this weird thought that it is not a job, it brings nothing, singers are poor. So focus on getting a job again. But really singers and actors are such soul searchers and some of the most honest and empathetic people. It is not general of course. Singing brings me and others joy. It is a hobby and something I love to do. I love your posts and find you a VERY inspiring human and teacher. Thank you for your braveness of writing to us all and sharing what you know ????????????????????

  • JC
    REPLY

    Hey fel 🙂
    I can definitely relate with you I currently sing for a top 40’s band since about a year ago and I definitely feel
    Like I have gotten better with some styles of singing but I also feel like I’ve lost some of my style or smoothness from before now that I am always performing with a loud band. As much as I want to practice everyday I was starting to think the same way as you did and thought to myself that I’m good enough for now and I can practice tomorrow. It didn’t hit me until I got the chance to sub for another band and was on stage with another girl that had such a controlled voice and powerful belt. I realized that being good enough wasn’t good enough haha so I am now starting to vocalize everyday for however long I can as long as I start and not be lazy about it.
    I love your blogs and videos you are so sweet and funny and I love your voice so keep doing what you’re doing because it’s working as you probably already know 🙂

  • Annemarie
    REPLY

    Dear Fel,

    I’m always amazed at how honest you are about your own problems when it comes to singing. This is not only inspiring because I see myself in many of the situations you talk about but it also brings “singing” and everything surrounding this talent to a “down-to-earth” level which makes me feel “normal”. It’s one of the things that make you as a voice teacher so awesome. And yes, I have had those things you talk about. At the moment it’s a little frustration because there is not that much opportunity to sing and each time it costs me lots of energy and nerves because I cannot get into a routine. Things that happen frequently we can get used to and in time (or at least based on my experience), stage fright is reduced by frequently being on stage, performing the same songs, etc. So yes, I find myself practicing less. The last time I performed on stage was in December 2015. The next opportunity is September 24th. So obviously I will be more nervous than usual again…
    Thanks for all your good tips – I have really been ejoying your lessons.

  • Alida Bonifaz
    REPLY

    Hi Felicia!
    I am a voice coach and songwriter and have been going through this EXACT THING for the last six months. I’ve been feeling totally uninspired and my voice is TOTALLY suffering for it. It’s been maybe 3 years now since I’ve performed an original song. That’s nuts! Thank you for writing this. It’s time I start setting some goals for myself again. I LOVE the way you teach and I am so excited for you! I can’t wait to hear what you come up with!!

  • DJ
    REPLY

    Growing up, I was always in some sort of choir or chorus in school, and as a young military wife, sang with the Officer’s Wives Club chorale for a few years, but during my childraising years, I didn’t do anything formal with singing. I did, however, dabble in songwriting and wrote over 90 very bad songs, but it was helpful in getting my passion back. But again, years passed while life just kept happening, and it wasn’t until a few years ago, in my late 50s, that I got my musical groove back by joining a Sweet Adelines a cappella group, and it was life changing! Though I’ve sung karaoke at home (never in public!) and have always sung in the car, actually singing with a group and learning new stuff really revitalized my voice and I actually call myself a singer now. At first when friends and coworkers learned I had joined a chorus (for which I actually had to audition, which was terrifying!), they’d say, “I didn’t know you were a singer…” and I’d humbly reply, “Well, they let me sing…” as though I had no real ability. I don’t do that anymore and even went so far as to become part of a quartet to get past my fears of actually being heard, and you know what? I AM a singer! I tell all this to give hope to you and anyone else who thinks singing is something you do when you are young. I just turned 60 and am going strong, have stretched my range, and am probably improving my health by having an outlet to de-stress, learning to breathe properly, and just spending 3 hours a week on risers with women ranging from 22 to over 80 is highly energizing, and I love performing for audiences. So no matter how old you are, even if you haven’t exercised your vocal muscles effectively for years, you can get back what you had and learn and grow!

    Thanks for all you give to us, Felicia. I’ve learned much from you and I’m glad you got your passion back!

  • Des
    REPLY

    Hey, Fel!
    I have experienced this a lot in my life. I don’t want to leave an essay for you to read but long story short:
    One day, around the beginning of fourth grade, I was singing with a group of girls. This was maybe around 2004. It was the era of The Cheetah Girls and every girl wanted to be able to sing like them. We all grouped together and the girls were telling me they had all written a song together.
    Looking back at it now, I can’t help but laugh. It was very basic, literally a ‘1 2 3 4’ song. But it was about a breakup? And like kicking out your boyfriend, making him pack his stuff and it’s like, we’re 10! What the heck? Haha. I wish I remembered it. Part of me worries if it’s copyrighted but let’s safely assume they never went anywhere with it.
    Just for the sake of this comment: let’s learn this beautiful break-up song. ” 1 pick up your clothes 2 don’t wanna see you no more 3 why you leaving me/ cheating on me 4 Shuuuut the door (baby belt on ‘shut) 5 n/a 6 n/a 7 I’d rather be in heaven than with you (like theyd rather die??) 8 why you coming home late?”
    And I really cannot remember the rest. Even then the girls had to turn to one another to recall completely how it went. But little old me, New girl at a new school with loads of potentially was like “OK! Let me sing this completely new song with you.”
    Now I only vaguely remember this but I felt like when I sang everything else just went away and I feel like I sang in pure falsetto as well? I guess as a kid I just sang however felt comfortable to me. I really wish I knew better than to take things to heart but of course y’all can assume what happened next.
    There was a moment of silence and then one girl said “Listen to how she sings!” and started laughing. They had never heard anything like it. They didn’t understand.
    And I didn’t know any better so this started my lifetime of “No I can’t sing.” and singing in the car barely above a whisper and singing in the shower but still being cautious. To really sing and be able to practice I feel like I can’t worry about who can hear me but I can’t help it.
    I’m having to break myself out of this. I started singing in the choir at a local church and it made me so happy. I learned that not only could I sing , but I could sing notes most people wish they could! And all registers are awesome and all ranges have those cool notes I wish I could hit (I love Love LOVE Basses Avi Kaplan anyone?)
    It was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. I am a 1 soprano and I can even hit whistle register! It only happened once, on accident, but it happened! I was watching one of my other favorite YouTube singing shows with Mitch Grassi and Scott Hoying from Pentatonix and they always sing “Goodbye” in their outro. I was singing with them and just broke out into whistle not even trying to. I realized that I was and stopped, and was kind of like “Dang it why’d I stop? And no one else was here for that they’ll think I’m lying ;w; ”
    But as frustrated as I felt at first I had the sudden realization, “Wait! This is awesome. Maybe it’s best I had startled myself and stopped. I don’t have any formal one on one training and if I had tried to keep holding that note I could have just hurt myself. But now I know that I can! And I am so excited!”
    But I still have those moments when I’m so shy and embarrassed and anxious about my voice and I am way too scared to sing.
    I had this really bad habit of any time a song would get to a belt or high note, I would just STOP SINGING and like, not even try. But now when I catch myself doing that, I can be like, “Wait, I can hit whistle register. I don’t know how I did it, but I know I can, so I KNOW I CAN HIT THIS NOTE!”
    And I’m slowly but surely trying to break myself out of this insecurity. Most of my plateauing is from not being comfortable enough to rehearse and getting rid of that. I’m going on an early morning walk/jog thing and I hope that I can get some range exercises in.
    Wish me luck, Fel!

  • Alfie
    REPLY

    Thanks for this, i often feel swamped by the amount of things I want and feel I need to practise. It’s hard to stay focussed on one thing and be patient when it feels like there is so much that I want to get better at. I definitely expect immediate results although I’m trying to remain patient and humble. It’s so difficult because I give myself such a hard time about music!! And I don’t know why because it’s the love of my life. Reading this helped. Thank U
    Alfie x

    Btw I totally dress up in different outfits to get myself in the mood… For songwriting

  • Sarah
    REPLY

    Felicia, you are god! Your posts always leave me feeling motivated and inspired but this one spoke to me on another level and was really what I needed to hear at this exact point in my performing journey! I’ve been in that singing dip on and off for the last month or so.. I took a week long Making it on Broadway intensive in Sydney and was basically told I wasn’t good enough or you’re this type of voice you need to sing these songs or why can’t you do this blah blah blah. I was literally being compared to the people around me and it was humiliating, to feel so worthless. This took such a toll on myself mentally and physically.. Why was something that gave me so much joy in the past was making me unhappy? I’ve basically spent the last month after the intensive questioning everything and when singing or even in my singing lessons those negative voices and comments would come back. It wasn’t until today I had my singing lesson that my teacher stopped me and was telling me I had gained so much tension in my voice and notes I could easily hit I was now scared to sing it was becoming a real chore to even sing! She would always tell me to trust myself because I can do it but I could never trust myself. That was my aha moment then your lovely blog post came along and it spoke wonders and immediately I’ve already set up my goals and I’m EXCITED! I’ve slowly (baby steps) shifted my thinking and I’ve become a little more excited and motivated to kick butt and show them I CAN DO IT!! So, thank YOU Felicia for this! It’s exactly what I needed to hear!!!

    • Felicia Ricci
      REPLY

      Sarah, I’m thrilled to hear about your mindset shift!! YES! Also, never underestimate the power of musical theater to make you feel like your voice is inadequate because DANG. That type of singing is so difficult. It’s a tricky genre that asks a lot of its singers – so keep going and try to appreciate what makes your voice UNIQUE. The best actors/actresses often have the most singular, unique voices. 🙂 xo Fel

  • Dee McSweeney
    REPLY

    Wow Fel, I was just thinking of you yesterday while I was driving! My name is Dee McSweeney and I found you on-line when I was checking to see if voice exercises have changed any over the years. I’m 49 years old and I live in Dumont, NJ. First, let me tell you this . . . because you have such inspiring words for others, I want to “give back to you”. You are one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest, adorable, intelligent (I see you went to Yale – very impressive and good for you!), “very funny”, caring and knowledgeable people who have come across my path in some time. I love to read your singing stories and thank you so much for your videos. They are fantastic. We can all learn from each other – regardless of the fact that I could technically be your Mom! 🙂

    I have a long-time musical colleague, Pat, who is like my brother. Pat and I have been working on and off musically together for 35 years. I introduced him to his wife, who is my friend, Gail. My husband, Denis, and I recently went to Gail’s 50th birthday party. Pat and Gail have been married 30 years and I’ve watched their children grow up.

    I tell you this because . . . . Pat and I just finished an “album” (yes, I’m dating myself), and it will be released soon. I am the voice, and he is the guitarist, recording artist, etc. Also, we have others, obviously, who play other instruments with us. I can play acoustic guitar also if needed. My point is . . . never give up on your dreams. You are young and you are impressively successful so don’t forget that. You have accomplished so much and you help so many people. That is a gift in life. Your wonderful karma does and will always “boomerang” back to you.

    You mention “flipping around in life”. Yes, that is OK. I’ve learned in my experiences that life is truly a journey. Many times God throws us off course and we don’t like the journey. Music has always been in my life – technically since the age of 4 years old. Music is “literally” in my DNA. So, never feel badly if you get off course. Just get back on, like you are doing. I do voice exercises in the car while driving almost every day, just to keep my chords supple.

    If you are ever feeling down, you can write to me! We all need emotional support, especially in this day and age. Fel, I was a business major in college (media). I had a great career and I did well financially. Then “9/11” happened in New York City and Tuesday, September 11, 2001 was the first day of the downward spiral that God decided he was going to put me on. Since then, I have not been able to obtain the exact financial position I used to be in, and as you know, many people in America now are suffering financially because they cannot get back to where they used to be.

    So . . . . talk about not having a timeline and not sure where one is going in life . . . . 9/11 forced me to rethink my entire life course. Long story very short – I went back to my university . . . . . learned 3 foreign languages . . . got my gemology diploma from the GIA (Gemological Institute of America), and through hard work, determination and tenacity, got myself into a two-time, Emmy-award winning Dish Network TV station to do voice-overs, I contracted with a company called Background Inc. in NYC doing TV commercials, and I’m a member of AGR (Actor’s Green Room), where I’m able to meet Casting Directors who cast for major TV and film.

    Now . . . that said I’m “still” not where I need to be. However, the bottom line is that I’m climbing back out of the pit . . . very slowly . . . however, I am climbing. In the midst of all this crap that happened, Pat called and told me he finally (it took him 8 years), built a recording studio in his home (he’s got a large home). So, wah-lah, we just finished an album.

    Sorry for the long post, but my purpose was to give you a lift since you always lift others. I am a woman of my word, Fel and I shall always remember you. At some time in the future, not sure when, but I’m going to send you a nice little gift (when I can afford it). I was raised well, I’m moral and ethical and I truly care about others. And . . . talk about positive mindsets, I told Pat that I know exactly what dress I shall be wearing when he and I are going up to the podium to receive the Grammy!! Keep doing what you are doing, Fel. You are a wonderful girl and you are appreciated by me and many.

    Every day I say to God (I’m Catholic, I went to Catholic school and I pray a lot), “Thank you for my unique gifts and talents, but please show me how to use my gifts and talents to fullfill your plan for my life.” In addition, I say, “Please help me become the person you have created me to be.”

    This fall, I am doing a Cable TV segment on channel 77, to raise awareness about the Deaf Community to the hearing folks. Hearing people need to be much more educated about deaf people. Marlee Matline and Nyle DiMarco’s (they are deaf actors) agents have been ignoring me, but I’m pleasantly persistent in a business way. I really do try to help others – and I’m not getting paid for this. I made a promise to the deaf community and I always keep my promises.

    Be well, Fel. You are right on target in life. Keep going. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will accomplish exactly what you set out to do. Most people do not accomplish their dreams or goals and move to the next level because they give up too quickly. Things do not happen overnight. Most of the time, it takes years, sometimes decades, but that is OK. If we did not go on the journey we would not learn and grow.

    Thank you for all that you do for so many people. You are blessed and I just love you. Have a wonderful weekend!

    Dee McSweeney

    • Felicia Ricci
      REPLY

      DEE! MY HEART IS BURSTING! Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to write all this. It really means a lot and I’m sending you a huge hug through my computer. Best of luck with all your amazing endeavors. xo Fel

  • Declan
    REPLY

    This advise is pure gold: “singing goals that makes you giddy with excitement”.

    I looked back at the goals I set myself in May and my first goal was about learning lyrics. I hate learning lyrics – with a passion. I love to sing, I love singing with others, I love supporting other singer, and I love seeing people respond to song. Learning lyrics is something I do in order to get there.

    I’ll be re-writing my goals.

    Once again, thank you Fel.

  • Ami
    REPLY

    Huh I was mostly in the valley unless I had a show. Practice has always been a chore because I edit EVERYTHING that comes out of my head. EVERYTHING! It’s been a dream to sing but I have rarely enjoyed it because I am so hard on myself and forever in comparison mode. As of right now I sing in the car and randomly but have basically put performing and singing to the side. I had to because I was driving myself insane…..literally. I feel deep down it will come back. Maybe the break will change perspective. Doing Spartan races and focusing on fitness now. Thanks Fel your stuff keeps me connected somehow.

    • Felicia Ricci
      REPLY

      You’re very welcome! Totally feel you. You might try to do a warmup where you are “someone else”! Like a different character. That way if you mess up it isn’t you, it is that other facet of you. It’s a weird mental trick, but it might help. 🙂

    • Laura
      REPLY

      Hi Ami,

      Thanks for sharing. I feel the same way about my singing journey. I’m very critical about my voice to such an end that it’s hard to enjoy what’s coming out. The comparison and competition was too much for me, so I set it aside. I’m definitely going to try to Felicia’s suggestion, below, and pretend to be someone else or a different version of me 🙂

  • Rose Scalia
    REPLY

    Yes, Felicia, I too have recently felt that dip in singing, when a year ago I went into a pageant and lost. I felt I was not good enough, after the letdown. Singing always made me feel so good, now I seem almost silent. What can I do to get over this? The woman who won the pageant was politically connected, so it was more about what she and her husband could do for the pageant. Thank you.
    Sincerely
    “No spark”

    • Felicia Ricci
      REPLY

      It’s definitely a process! One thing I might recommend is to write down your thoughts every morning (1-3 pages) to try to understand what your fear thoughts or limiting beliefs are. I’ve been doing this for about 8 months and it has helped so much to clarify! Then you can identify the source of what’s holding you back and start to dismantle it. Sending all good vibes to you… xo Fel

  • Noumenon
    REPLY

    Hi Fel!

    First of all thank you for your light. And courage to share and be. My relationship with singing and approach to singing is so similar to yours (emotionally) that is allmost freaks me out, at the same time it seems to confirm what I intuitively have always knows about singing: it is not ‘just’ a talent or a trick or ‘just’ hard work or inspiration. It is something wholistic (as, maybe everything else). Your video’s, presence, point of view and knowledge are exactly what I need at this point in my life. Both practically and emotionally. Singing is a huge part of who I am. But, due to a very traumatic childhood, ‘being’ : making sound, take up space and even breathing were and are sometimes stil huge challenges for me. I used to be literairy scared to death to sing. Even though that is where my biggest talent and sense of self lies. It was quote the dillemma I can tell you. Haha. Quiet extinental. I’m having a rough time with a lot of therapy and a baby and not much money to get by. And there were your free video’s. The therapy is great, so helpfull, it teaches me how to live and that I am allowed to be. “Ik mag er zijn” in Dutch, my native language. But singing makes living fun! I am stil very scared, but more like everyone else is, and very much like you describe in the above. And I am so gratefull that you share your lessons (learned). I have been praying for guideance and ‘roadsigns’ for how to approach my singing practice from now on and get unstuck. And you are an angel (not literally). But you are an angel, thank you. I wish you all the best: Tons of love and inspiration. Thank you for your strenght. It is very inspiring.

  • Joni Lambert
    REPLY

    I went though a season due to health issues where I was physically unable to sing and it was a very painful time in my life. To go to church and be silent while those around sang praises took much of the joy out of Sunday services. No longer having the ability to perform in concert or shows felt like I’d endured some kind of amputation where an important part of me had been ripped from my soul.

    By the grace of God I recovered. When I sheepishly made my first attempt to sing again and found that the voice was still there, even after years of inactivity, brought tears to my eyes. I vowed to never take my gift for granted again. Today I sing professionally and perform shows across the country. While I admit I don’t practice daily, my past experience has left me with the attitude to appreciate being able to use my gift of music, since one never knows when it might be lost to them.

    Thanks for your wonderful course, Fel- I’ve gotten a lot from it:

  • Dorothy
    REPLY

    Thank you for sharing your story! I perform in community musical theater, and have been on a 3-month hiatus from the strong singing I had just discovered I was capable of a couple of months before that. (It’s “just a hobby”, but has meant a lot to me.) A series of upper respiratory infections followed by chronic fatigue syndrome has left me demoralized, weak, and stiff in every way. I can’t know when I’ll feel better physically, but I long to get back to singing my face off. I still half-sing around the house like I always did, but it’s hard to motivate myself to practice when I’m not up to the rigors of performance. I suppose I must remain patient.

    Also, thank you for all the resources you make available for free to the public. I can’t afford to pay for lessons, but your exercises and how-tos have been a great supplement for the help I have found. Helping people make singing a part of their lives is no small thing. Please keep it up while you pursue performing again, and best of luck!

  • Peter Tuason
    REPLY

    Hi Fel, thank u for sharing your experience with me. I love singing but I’ve lost confidence in my voice. For some reasons it is not as accurate as when I was 30 yrs ago. Holding a note seems scary to me as my voice may crack or go off key. I used to perform 2-3 times a night but not anymore. Now I just simply write songs for others to sing. I’ve no courage to sing my own songs and that make me feel sad.
    I’m so glad that u found inspiration to reclaim what is rightfully yours. I hope someday I will too

    Respectfully yours

    Peter Tuason

    • Felicia Ricci
      REPLY

      Hi Peter, I can totally relate, but don’t give up hope! Redeveloping muscle memory is scary because the whole time you feel the need to scold yourself or compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself, but it’s totally possible! Thanks for the comment. xo Fel

  • Frankie Cirell
    REPLY

    Felicia, almost all of the above, you spoke of. Ive been a professional performer for over 48 years, I still have decent chops, but I have gone through many valleys, many times,in my career! I was what they used to refer to as a belter , I abused the voice throughout theyears ,singing in niteclubs, and the kind of lifestyle that sometimes went with it, I did grab hold however about 3 years back at 64 years old, I trained early on back in the mid Sixties, OMG what a time that was, anyways I studied opera tech, but was doing beatles, and rock of the time in clubs at night, so I had a nice eclectic rounded music world, but now for the last 42 years I have been with a vegas type, act Comedy, SINGING, and here is the one that put some havoc and my cords,, Vocal and speaking Impressions, but it kept me working, my biggest problem is tightening up when I sing, in the neck and shoulder area, which You’ve helped me with, its very frustrating, cause when I was a younger man, all of these things came to me, with no problem, Im kinda like a
    Tom Jones type of singer and performer that kind of intensity, Ive even been up on stage with him in AC Nj back in the day, when showbiz down there was cooking!!!! but I was always just a s comfortable with a Broadway composition! So now Im back to steaming 4 times a day, as well as doing some easy wake up vocal warm ups in the morning, lip trills, and some of my breathing , but mostly I must concentrate on relaxing the neck and shoulder area, and thats a work in progress, cause even as I write here, my shoulders rise, Ive watched some of your video’s and they have helped me 50% and that is a lot, thank you, Miss Ricci, one of my very good friends name is the same , Us Italians, are fairly well known for singing with Passion, I hope that I can continue into my 70S and even 80’s IM Frank Cirillo but stage name is FRankie Cirelll the Act is Andre&Cirell incase you ever wanted to to look us up, we will be performing in AC at Resort’s the whole month of Oct, God Bless sorry I went on so long !!

  • Chanelle
    REPLY

    Hey Fel 🙂

    So great to finally be writing to you! My name is Chanelle and I am all the way in South Africa (whoop whoop!).

    I have been watching your videos and know about your book and I just think that you are an amazing human!!!

    Really, thank you so much for all the advice you give! It really is so great to hear from someone with such a genuine heart! I am SUPER stoked for you to be finding your groove with your music and finding a passion for it again! That’s really amazing!

    One of the reasons you are such an inspiration to me is because you are so real with your fans/followers. The fact that you have also have set backs, doubts and confusion along your path is so comforting. It’s great to see how your set-backs have in fact, all been set-ups to propel you forward to doing what you truly love! Really am super proud when I hear a story like yours!!

    Sending lotsa love and hugs your way!

    PS: Cannot wait to hear some of your new material!!

    • Felicia Ricci
      REPLY

      Chanelle! This comment made my day! I definitely pause before I hit “send” being like “are these emails actually helpful??” So it’s awesome to be validated and affirmed like this. Lots of love back, Fel

  • Christy Oates
    REPLY

    I am new round these parts ???? I am back to learning how to sing again….again. I found your video series on YouTube and tried to apply what I was learning. Guess what! It worked! I just floated up to notes like I used to. Hurray! I was trained for years but got into bad habits when I let it lapse due to having kids and raising them into decent adults! Empty nest is freaking me out! So, your blog was perfect today. I am trying to find the confidence to audition for a real musical at a real theater here in Austin. I have made it my goal. Lucky for me there is an online audition so that will be my first. It’s for Sweeny Todd (spelling?) and I sing like Ariel from The Little Mermaid…..so there’s that.

    Anyway, I am thankful for what you’re doing.

    Also, I see how brave you were in telling your goal to thousands of people. Well, it seems brave to me. I feel like I need to set small goals along the way to my end goal. Yeah.

    Thanks for your blogs and everything else you do. ????

  • Abbey Plant
    REPLY

    Fel, I love that your heart is open and you are willing to share with all of us fellow singers! You go girl! Thank you for being vulnerable so others will benefit from your journey! Love, Abbey Plant

  • Alegria
    REPLY

    There definitely has been times where I’ve felt a dip. Recently actually, I’ve gotten to the point where I’m jumping back in again but like you said I want to see it as celebrated not just something I have to do. So awesome that your working with Cari Cole!! I’ve followed her information and advice for years!

  • Owen
    REPLY

    I have experienced dips in my singing confidence. Like right now. I’m having to do a huge reworking of my whole technique after seeing a new voice teacher, and it’s exciting to hear the results creeping in, but also depressing at times to be practicing something so foreign to my voice and be like “ugh, i sound like a beginner again trying this new thing.” My whole sense of how I used to sing is being replaced and it’s quite scary to have to make such a huge change to the voice, but I know it’s gonna be worth it.

    As for my enthusiasm for singing, it’s actually been going strong for five years! Ever since I decided I wanted to take singing seriously, I have yet to take a hiatus from it. I can’t even stop for a full week! I’m on fire about singing all the time. I think a big reason for that is I didn’t start with much natural talent and I started what I feel is a bit late too (15 y/o) so I feel like I’m always having to “catch up” to my peers. The other element of this is that I started learning a lot of instruments when I was very young, so I also feel my singing needs to catch up to the other instruments, but the problem is…

    In most of my other musical instruments I can TOTALLY relate to what you’re talking about! The feeling of settling for good enough. Recently I played drums in front of a whole room of drummers for the first time in a long time. I’m glad I had the guts to do it, but I probably hadn’t touched a drumset in months, and the band had me take a drum solo, and oh god was I embarrassed. My hands were just like “oh my god i cant play that thing i normally do anymore, and i can’t play THAT either…how do i express myself!!!” And worse yet I really wasn’t that motivated to go back to practicing because I’m so busy practicing my singing. Hopefully your post inspires me to take my other instruments more seriously again, or at least my songwriting, since although I feel it’s my greatest talent and passion and it helps me stay active on many instruments. I’ve gotta stop falling into that “I’m good enough” mindset and actually work on it regularly to keep my skills sharp.

    I’m so glad to hear you are viewing yourself as an artist, that’s how I view myself as well. I’m dying to hear your music!!! If you ever want to privately email me any works in progress just to get an established songwriter’s opinion during your writing process, I’d love to help you out, just email me at owenkorzec@gmail.com. I’ve released a full album of original songs totally DIY so I know every step of the process. Btw it’s so cool that you’re influenced by Grimes, I recently started obsessing over her music too.

    Love this post. Cheers!

  • MB
    REPLY

    Fel, You are awesome and so inspiring! Thank you for sharing this.
    and I love that you work with Cari Cole! I love her too!

    Love your honesty! You are a gem. How lucky for all of us!

  • Lou
    REPLY

    Hi Fel!

    I just wanted to say thank you for your videos and your blog/inspirational quotes on Facebook. They’ve come at a time in my life where I really need them.

    I’ve always loved singing, writing and singing have always been a part of me and how I express myself. I’ve reconnected with my writing and thanks to your positive and inspiring videos I feel I’m reconnecting with my singing too.

    Your videos give me hope that some day I can really call myself a ‘singer’, I’m naturally quite a shy person and never like attention on me and when I have sung to friends or family in the past (which has always taken a lot of courage on my part) its been met with criticism.

    My husband as lovely as he is seems very underwhelmed by my singing and my mother doesn’t offer much feedback either, so it is hard to tell whether I have improved or can even sing!

    But your videos, especially your self confidence ones are really helping me and I hope that it’s just my self doubt that’s holding me back from my true potential! I guess only time will tell!

    Thank you again for everything, and like so many others have said you truly are a wonderful person and extremely talented! Your video on mean online comments brought a tear to my eye! I’ve been bullied throughout my life so your video really touched me greatly.

    I know you’re going to have a very bright solo career I can just see it! 🙂 xxxx

  • Cole Samuel
    REPLY

    Helo Fel,wow! you really are a blessing to me and not just to me but to this generation . so so grateful to God and to you for such an opportunity to meet you and to learn from you. I love singing and am trying,i take solo and lead the choir in church and get involved in some other singing activities but you have giving me an avenue to know i can be better and be the best at what am doing. presently, i am consistently and committedly following your lessons but pls can you give me an answer to this? As a singer what kind of food is good,that will help your singing and what kind of food should a singer avoid?

  • Rachel Borne
    REPLY

    Oh boy, had to respond to this one! Fel, I remember when we did our skype chat and you dropped the ‘I’m not really performing any more’ line and I remember thinking… ‘what???!!!!’ I didn’t respond to it then because time was limited but I remember the deflated look on your face and I was worried about you for a minute.

    Please do not do what I did. Do not ever take your gifts and throw them to the curb with the assumption that you are not enough, as is. I have only two regrets in my life and doing that is one of them. I am getting it back now – I have found a local teacher, I have 3 songs I’ve written I’m proud of, I will probably be out doing open mics within a year (and your class/vids have helped me a LOT, I still do your warmups and return to the class now and then)… I cannot look often at the time I wasted choosing not to believe in myself and my gifts.

    It sounds like you are on a new path but I’m writing this in hopes you’ll keep it as a reminder should you ever doubt again. I wish someone had taken me by the shoulders and said this to me. But perhaps that’s the test that the Art Gods lay before us. Will you still choose your gift in the face of your doubts? Do you love it enough? Do you trust enough?

    I wish I had been braver. I am grateful I woke up now instead of at 89.

    Power on, my friend. You have a beautiful gift and I look forward to hearing YOUR MUSIC.

    P.S. I’ve checked out Cari Cole, I may study with her at some point. I am sure you are in very good hands.

    All the best!!!
    XOX

  • marilyn
    REPLY

    Hi, Fel,

    Like so many other commenters, your thoughts in this post were amazingly timely. I won’t list all the ways I related to what you said because I’d practically quote the whole blog post! So, just know that your approach to life and singing always give me a lift. I’m particularly happy to have read what you say about “I’m good enough” in the context of then letting things slide. I have recently found that to be a slippery slope and underneath those words I’ve discovered some things about myself that needed my attention. So, we have this beautiful opportunity to learn and grow and enjoy the process at every stage of life, and with people like you who are willing to share what you’re learning, support and encouragement are gifted.

    Can’t wait to hear the music you’re creating!

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart,
    Marilyn

  • Deborah
    REPLY

    So glad I found this email in my inbox this morning, it was exactly what I needed to hear! I am an off-and-on songwriter and started off the year with a flurry of songs that I was really proud of. Then this summer I kind of fell into a depression and not only stopped writing, but haven’t even been singing / playing guitar at all. This is a great reminder that seasons come and go and I don’t have to stay stuck. Thanks, Fel, your energy and vision really are contagious 🙂 I’m also really glad to hear that you are doing well and look forward to hearing your new songs!

  • DonnaRitchey
    REPLY

    hi Fel!
    Well, my journey due to bad childhood, but love of singing like everything! has started me on a journey on not singing like a robot..remember choir, la la la la la la la la la….but to connect to Feelings i have yet to put a name to and to put thise feelings into my music, into myself….hashing out the negative like a bad road trip….getting past the i suck road sign, becoming one w the mic and hearing myself…its amazing how singing affects your whole being! I love musical theater “memory” from Cats, Phantom of the Opera, etc etc, plus many other styles esp the Irish singing…love love love….anyway, just wanted to say, keep up the awesome work, sharing not just the good but the not so good we like to not confront at times…big ole E-hug!

  • Larene Crook
    REPLY

    I’m more of a poet, new song writer. I’ve always loved the arts and singing. However I’m trying to find out where my voice can take me. I find that I can hit certain notes really well but then I struggle with others. I think that I need to learn how to sing from my gut. I need to dig deep and not be afraid. At the same time I’m a perfectionist and I want to ensure that I am the absolute best that I can be. Do you have any helpful tips?

  • Gosia
    REPLY

    Dear Felicia! Ten years ago I flew into United States to earn some money for my singing lessons. I have finally found a teacher across the pond in my old country, but I was too under-financed to be able to pursue the lessons with great frequency, and my only dream at that time was to have this luxury. This led to becoming a member of ungrateful and sweaty work force, and I found myself never quite able to pick it up where I left it. I joined a band and started making music. I never went back to my teacher nor found a replacement. It’s simply amazing how hard it can be to find a teacher who knows how to work with a particular individual. Me, super sensitive about not getting it right or not sounding like Celine D. I was just scared of being hurt. I thought any teacher would be bored with me and just count minutes till the lesson’s over and they get to work with someone fantastic.

    Anyway. Today is my big day, ’cause I have found a cheap single person rehearsal closet for rent, and I am going there to practice. I am going to watch your videos and go over techniques I have already learned from you. I’ve been going over them every time I drive the company car for more than 15 minutes. I feel like a cosmic shift has happened. I believe now I can have my own luxurious practice without falling down a rabbit hole.

    Thank you,
    I think you are the sweetest singing teacher I’ve ever came across. You really know what’s up.

  • Melissa Newman
    REPLY

    How did you know!!

    I will try to read your email every time I am loading myself up with other “more important things”. Like laundry. Right now my life is all about making art and trying to teach. The healthier my vocal practice, the better I can pass it on. I teach various underserved populations, mostly kids and inmates. I am certainly not a singing teacher, but , as they keep telling me, “You are all we got!”. Your support and technique have been a boon to that part of my life. I use it for myself, AND I can pass it on. Thanks for everything.

    Exponentially yours!
    Melissa

  • Talitha Council
    REPLY

    Fel, I can’t thank you enough!!! You are truly God sent! This message spoke to my current state!! I so needed it and am so glad that I have a community of encouragers. May God continue to bless you. You are definitely being guided to help save the many souls fighting to be free! ????????

  • Mackenzie Z
    REPLY

    Fel! You saved my life! How do you sing so good? I look up to you so much! I really want to meet you in person! I can sing better than before but still bad! I love you! XO Mack Z

  • Biggie
    REPLY

    Thanks! I must admit…sometimes I’m lazy and think by myself it isn’t necessary to practice every day.BUT I know my voice sounds different when I practice daily.
    Now I have a question (I’m very motivated right now) 🙂
    In September I’m on a trip with colleagues and our occupants for 8 days.I’m going to sleep in a 4-bed-room with my colleagues.
    What should I do during this time?????. I don’t want to lip roll around 🙂 nor do I want to make the monkey sounds. They think I’m crazy enough without doing it. Hope you understand.
    Are there more silent exercises or is it okay to NOT practice 8 days?
    Thanks for your answer.
    Take care!

  • Ann Walsh
    REPLY

    Hi Felicia,

    Love your words of wisdom. Hit a wall recently after decades of working on my voice and writing songs.

    Then got clear…What IF?? We do all we can and still don’t achieve our dreams?

    Then so be it…better spending a lifetime enjoying the passion, creativity and energy. Failure is letting something inside die. Success is keeping the love burning. So onward..lets all continue our journey and I wish us all well.

    Annxxx

  • Reagan Pasternak
    REPLY

    Awe! Loved that post — so inspiring. And I can say I’ve studies singing since I was 7 years old and have never come across anyone so specific and generous in their teachings. You’re super gifted and I cannot wait to hear your original stufffff! (and sing along to those tunes in a stadium ;)…
    I have for sure had major singing plateaus. I’d been told I was too “pop” for musical theater and too “musical-theater” for pop… to the point I figured I’d just stick with acting. And I was fortunate to have a really good career in film and tv… But I always missed that meditative feeling of singing… so… I decided to get back into it. And the weird Universe is suddenly giving me platforms to do it… — I’ve been blue-toothing you through my house and practicing like a mad-man — and through you have discovered Keri Cole too! — fixing some bad habits and learning so much.
    Anyhoo… thanks so much for everything xo
    PS. I still wanna’ coach with you some day 🙂
    Best!!!!

  • Joy Foster
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    I read your comments this morning and it was just what I needed to jump-start my singing again. For the past few weeks, I had been feeling a little down. Early this morning, I picked up my guitar and started to sing. It was wonderful for my spirit and I soon realized that this is why my spirit had been suffering so. How could I neglect what I love the most – singing and performing? It was like a breath of fresh air for me…

    As if the Universe wanted to make sure what I was thinking was true, I found your comments in my e-mail box too!

    You were right on time with what you said Fel and I want to thank you for being so real about yourself and the struggles we all face from time to time. Your honesty and sincere efforts to help us all learn to sing better makes me love you even more…

    Thank You, thank you, thank you. I’m getting back on track today …

  • Deena
    REPLY

    Thank you Fel. I have been thinking about this for quite some time. I have been experiencing “the dip” as more of a “dive” bc I don’t have a long commute & I don’t want to annoy the neighbors in my building. Those all being excuses for my mindset of “what am I going to do with singing anyway” …The struggle is real.

  • Deb
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    You are so inspiring and must also be a mind reader. I’ve been falling off a little since starting your course and in the back of my mind I’ve been thinking “I have to get back the discipline!”. But it was beginning to feel like just one more chore and I never want that to happen with my precious gift. Thanks for sharing.

  • Olga
    REPLY

    Thank you so much for sharing this – it’s just what I needed to read right now! I dream of becoming a musical theatre performer and this summer I have experienced a major dip in motivation, confidence and therefore, singing practice. I really feel like getting the rush of inspiration I got from this could be the first kick to get me back on track! 🙂

  • corinne
    REPLY

    So nice of you Fel to say this. i’m reading you very often and enjoy your videos! I’m in awe when you sing!

    I’m in between teachers at the moment, living in a small town in France it is difficult to find teachers. like you in this page, I’ve not been serious with my training lately.

    I’m experiencing a lot of pharyngitis too and lack the necessary technique, I guess, to deal with it.

    I feel that my voice is much more painful going up -anyway i’m more comfortable in a lower (quite low actually) range but I think I’ve lost a lot of what I was able to do before, I don’t like the sound of my voice in the high notes , I feel very self-conscious about it.
    (been practising 4 years with a teacher, I’m 52, singing is not my job… but teaching English is, so, voice is important too!)
    I also have difficulty dealing with stress. I suppose that matters.
    What would you advise?

  • Elliot Pasik
    REPLY

    Very special and inspiring. I can relate. I get lazy sometimes. We need to push ourselves and reach our full potential. I’m an older guy who was always told that I had a good voice, and finally, I worked up enough nerve to study and practice, and now I lead the services on the Sabbath at my local synagogue. My goal is to become a wedding singer. Its good to hear other people’s thoughts, and know that I’m not alone in these struggles. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • chris
    REPLY

    Hello,

    Yes, my reluctance/loss to ‘go’ is slightly different: I am well into practices and I LOVE them…yet, I hesitate to sing a song !!!. I love/adore the repetitions and changes that come from isolated practices of tongue muscles stretches and relaxation, lip trills, long notes, sirens, extending the range….and dislike/neglect singing a whole song !!! Why ? I think I loose my breathe and the stamina to keep all the pieces together….Is this correct ?

    Also, yesterday I practised some of the above HEAPS and last night when I as drifting off to sleep I was so startled by a ‘balloon popping inside my head’ that my head jumped off the pillow !!!.

    Do you or your students get balloons popping INSIDE the head ? I am somewhat new to singing and pretty old anyway….

    Thanks.

  • Juliet
    REPLY

    Dear Fel:

    So often singers are competitive with each other, and I always find you to be open and inspiring. Do you know that I practice with one or two selected “homework” videos with you almost everyday? Just so you know, I often say – “Thanks Fel! That’s great information.” after I’m done.

    It’s refreshing to read your blog and be a part of this singers’ community. I don’t know where I’m headed with my music either, but at 55, I’m just going to throw caution out that widow and go for it!

    Looking forward to hearing your tunes.

    Regards, Juliet

  • Rose Marie
    REPLY

    Fel, I totally needed this! Thank you so much for posting this article. It is very encouraging, positive, and motivating. This post makes me feel revitalized to continue with my singing journey, and I can’t wait to hear your new music!!! <3

  • John K. Dix
    REPLY

    Hello!

    Well here’s a bit of what’s going on with me and singing. I began as a guitar player. Good, but nothing out of the ordinary. Then singing began just slowly crawling up every song I heard, until I found myself singing in the shower, while driving, and then I realized playing guitar wasn’t fun for me because I wouldn’t sing along. And there is this thing about playing an instrument and singing at the same time that is just magical. Anyways, I began singing and it has gotten better over the past couple of years, yet I always come to a point where I’m just stuck, and I either feel my voice is giving up on me or that I don’t actually have the talent, and I stop pushing and practicing and building up on my skills. And as life just continues to move on its so much easier to just flow and leave it behind because you have other responsibilities.

    So thanks for the kind messages, and for the singing tips and exercises! For someone like me who began trying to figure out singing by himself it’s a great starting point. Plus, its always nice to have someone remind you why we do this. Art is trying to speak to us and we need to let it say what it wants, in our own organic kind of way, which singing does best.

    Cheers!

    John

  • priscilla
    REPLY

    Hi Feel 🙂
    I used to sing everyday with so much joy completely took it serious n went to vocal coaching n practiced everyday but after a series of events I completely stopped singing for years and every time I get back into it I feel older n not feeling how easy it was n I end up falling out of it so this article totally is motivating – thanks for everything u do and for sharing and being so genuine! Its def inspiring and your advice has helped my voice so much — good luck with your new endeavors and keep going

  • Jalyn
    REPLY

    I am so happy you made this blog bc I honestly feel uninspired and not good enough. I’m scared for people to hear me sing but 2 days ago I set a short goal of writing and recording a song and releasing it. I’m nervous but I want to be an amazing artist and I need to believe in myself!

  • Lee Vandeveer
    REPLY

    OHHH! I just love how you write about something that has been on my mind. I am very very new to this (about a year) and today while warming up I realized (AGAIN) that my voice seems to suck if I don’t warm up daily. I get into this groove and after a couple of days, I start falling in love with my voice a little and my mind starts saying “yeah, you can totally do this” and then life gets in the way and four days go by. That just happened, I was in the middle of my first warm-up after four days of almost nothing and I thought “oh, great, I suck again and now I have to start over”. I was irritated with myself and so of course I checked my email and viola! Next step, try to do that goal thing! So far in life, I my goals have been vague and unfocused (I have gotten a lot done, but in a sloppy way) – so yeah, that is next on the list.

    THANK YOU for the way you teach!

  • Noel Griffin
    REPLY

    Noel I’m Bipolar and for the past year I’ve been depressed. When I’m like this I lose my taste for life especially singing.It’s like when you have a cold or flu you lose your taste for food. I’m 66 but when I’m well when I sing I can hear,feel it, taste it. I have a whole new bunch of songs written and ready to record.
    Fel where and when do I start please

    Noel

  • Kayla
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,
    I feel inspired by your story and it helped me realize that I’m experiencing much of the same problem. For years I have done my singing lessons and performed but in the recent years my singing has waned. There are many factors contributing to this but the biggest problem is my depression. It’s hard to feel motivated to sing at all anymore and what used to be my dream has become an almost nightmare because whenever I would sing I would be tormented by negative thoughts and self discrimination. I have only now turned to karaoke on an app on my phone to try to coax me back to singing through a fun avenue but I still suffer the same problems. I am 23 and I have been trying to pursue a career in musical theatre, however my inexperience in dance has led to my dreams being all but shot down in flames. It feels hopeless to me and frankly I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I have tried multiple times to learn dance, taken countless classes but I find myself back at square one all over again because of my depression. Sorry for rambling (I think I may have been holding all of that in haha), I love your videos and this email has especially instilled some hope in me.
    Thanks 🙂

  • WhitWhit
    REPLY

    Yes…this is me right now Felicia! I haven’t practiced in forever or sung in public in forever and I use to get through whole songs and sound amazing but now I strain and I feel like I sound like an old man when I sing(I’m a girl)….this blog was exactly at the right time..because I just feel like how am I gonna even get my voice back to where it was without practicing for soo long…i want a great and seamless voice

  • randy
    REPLY

    hey fel after 25 years of playing and singing live in every kind of gig there is….you will have peaks and valleys.i think the trick is when on that peak learn to slow down enough to take in all in and enjoy it…..and when you try something new and its not working and you find yourself down in that valley …stop digging …and find what does work, fel you have given me some great tips and im truely greatfull. so now i have a tip for you. i know the road your about to go down with your music. because i been down that very same road and it may get kind of bumpy.so hold on to your loved one with both hands and dont let go make sure you listen to what he thinks and feels and he can be a great partner and a great help in ways you havent even seen yet……fel i hope reach all your goals well the part about writing 50 songs in 6 months well…..i had great musician tell me years ago …dont push the water just let it flow i did not understand it then but now it makes perfect since, ps live sound is my wheelhouse.so if i can be any help you have my email take care …randy

  • Archita Trisal
    REPLY

    Hey Fel. First of all, thank you so much for writing an email subject line that instantly caught my attention. Secondly, I’m commenting here because it is exactly what I’ve been going through for the last two years.

    I’ve fallen back on singing and songwriting ever since my early teens. Through good times and bad, I’ve always had music on my side and even a few minutes of singing would instantly turn my day around.

    However, since 2014, my interest in music waned and I attributed it to my demanding corporate job, and after much thought, decided to quit my corporate career to become a full time vocalist and voice actor. I thought being able to devote more time to music would help getting my interest out of the gutter but the progress hasn’t happened as much as I had anticipated. In turn, as I am now doing this professionally, I constantly compare myself to others and have gotten to a point where I’m not even surprised that I get less work. Earlier, I *knew* I was a good singer, if not great, but now I’ve started doubting even that! And when *I* don’t believe I’m good, why should anyone else?

    Coincidently,, as you mentioned, I started taking vocal coaching this week itself and feel a little more confident than I was even a week ago. I also spoke an artist manager who gave me some great advice – do not knock on the doors of big music directors till you believe you’re prepared. Also, I love what you say about keeping short term and long term goals and I’m gonna start with it today.

    Every Single Word you wrote here resonated with me bang on and I can’t thank you enough. I no longer feel lonely and feel more hopeful about where I might be headed 🙂

    Good luck to you, Fel. I hope you do perform for a big, sold out stadium one day. Love from India.

  • Cherry PH
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    I can clearly relate to this blog of yours. Two years ago, I stopped joining singing contests and performing after I graduate from college and enter the corporate world. Currently, I am not engaged in any singing activity like choir. My singing voice is starting to deteriorate. I cannot hit the high notes I used to reach before. Though I still have the voice, the quality is not really good. I feel bad that I was not able to take good care of my voice. It saddens me whenever I crack my voice and forcing myself to bring back the old me.

    Reading your blogs makes me realize that it is not the end for me. Maybe I am destined to try other genres that do not require belting. I feel inspired now knowing that there are also some people who experience the same thing and coping with it gradually. I am wishing everyone a successful singing life! Cheers! ^_^

    Lots of love,
    Cherry V.

    PS: I am your fan all the way from the Philippines 🙂

  • Charity
    REPLY

    Fel,

    Thank you for writing this. I always seek out your videos and read your blogs because you have a way of communicating that seems to speak to the masses. It certainly speaks to me. I find it so refreshing and inspiring all of your blogs/videos recently that are so raw and truthful. It is not easy actually being truthful about people’s fears, doubts and shortcomings. You are so brave to share your story, but in doing so can inspire others who share those fears. I am so happy to hear you will be recording and performing. Ever since I heard you sing I have been like, “I want to buy one of HER songs”. Some people just have a quality and tone that make you want to keep listening. You got it GIRL!!!! You are truly an inspiring person, who seems genuine, heartfelt and selfless enough to want to share your life lessons with the masses (which is scary in itself). If you ever doubt if you should continue to share, let me say, you have made a difference in my life and judging by others comments you have made a difference in sooooo many lives. You are an Artist and I look forward to seeing you perform!!

  • JEFFREY KEPNER
    REPLY

    Hi Fel, Briefly, thank you for being so “down to earth” (extremely rare human quality) in helping others – I am cutting and pasting this “memo” of yours into my singing notes. It will definitely help me in my own personal singing “min- career” and I will be able to view from time to time as needed. Thanks again – you are a sweetheart.

  • Ivan
    REPLY

    Fel!!! Thank you for this. This—just like your other blog posts—is a mine of nuggets of wisdom. I’m a bit in a hurry now, so I’ll keep this short! Definitely felt this dip a great lot of times already, not only with singing, but also in all of my other endeavors in life. I think this is applicable to everything you strive for (even life itself), and when the dip happens, it sure pisses me off so much. Thank you for this.

    I’ve definitely gradually lost my momentum a month ago when school started (yep, I’m a student in Grade 11). It always happens whenever school starts. Everything that I felt very much excited about before is now gone (tho not fully, it’s as if the fire now turned into a tiny spark). My creative endeavors and goals always seem to be trumped by schoolworks and whatnot, making me lose my momentum before and my fire for these things. Now, I can’t seem to keep myself in a creative state of mind where I used to be. I can’t seem to find the fire in me that once was. Thank you, Fel, for sharing this because I feel like a small bit of it was lit again. I feel like this gave me a bit of a push to frame myself in the right mindset ’cause life’s all about perspective. Even if it is a small push, this has been an important step in trying to get myself back on setting my eyes on my dreams. Baby steps!

    I love how you always radiate with positivity and wisdom. Thank you for sharing these experiences with us. It definitely helps. You’re such a down-to-earth woman. Just want to say that with a woman like you full of great philosophies, I really believe in the deepest of my heart that you totally could kick your dreams in the ass. You are the type of person that could totally reach your dream just cause you want it. Thanks for making my day better. Have a good day, Fel!

    P.S. It’s cool you have a teacher/mentor. Also, will be waiting for your music! I will be stoked for that. 😉

  • Emmanuel Hans
    REPLY

    Your Comment Here…Hey Fel! Thanks for the advice. I have a problem I need help with. For the past month my throat has been hurting every time I try to sing or speak, my doctor told me that my larynx and pharynx are inflamed. This problem started when I did some intensive rehearsals for two days. I haven’t been able to practise my singing for a while and I feel am losing valuable time to improve my singing. what do you think could have caused this and what I do start singing again?

  • Elizabeth Velasco
    REPLY

    I just want to say we can all relate to those feelings even if they’re not related to singing at all!

    It really shows how much you’ve grown! Also the fact that you’re sharing your goals with us makes you commit to them more and I am proud to have such a passionate artist as a teacher. Thank you so much for all you’re sharing with us.

    I’ve been feeling the same way you have: not with my singing but actually with coding!!!

    I kept telling myself I had to keep a crappy job because (insert crapload of excuses) and give up on the things I love most…

    But you know, I got fired… These days i’ve been learning and getting better and better in my coding skills (i’ll go back to singing again, I promise… But well, one step at a time) and I have to say i’ve never felt this inspired!

    You are right! We have to follow our passions or else we might explode!

  • Sheilla
    REPLY

    Thanks very much Felicia for the inspiration.I find myself in the same problem,am going through a lot lately and that has made me uninspired.I have no interest in singing or exercising even though I have a short term plan of getting my first single ready before I have my first child within 6 months.I feel lazy even for doing my daily exercise and your email has encouraged me to do something about my procrastination.I will do everything I can to get to where I stopped.Thank you soo much for getting me on the street again.

  • Luisa Apolaya
    REPLY

    Hey Fel,

    Thank you 🙂 Sometimes I see singers like you on YouTube and think that you guys never are disappointed of yourselves, and are always singing beautifully. But now, after hearing your story, and especially after reading the goals and thay, “Singing is a lifetime journey”, it gives me hope. My plan right now is to go to college, become an engineer, and minor in musical theatre. My big, big dream is to be on Broadway and go to the Tony’s 🙂 I’m not sure how that is going to work out, but I have hope that, like you said, somehow it will 🙂 🙂 So thank you!! I am happy that you have overcome that obstacle, and am sure you will keep inspiring so many people for many years to come.

    Release your music soon, I am so excited to hear it!
    Love,
    Luisa

  • Jen F.
    REPLY

    Hi Fel ! I enjoy watching and learning from your videos. They are helping me a lot. I have been singing since I was a young kid. I have the passion and talent. I enjoy it. Singing brings me joy and the world and its problems seem to melt away during that time while I sing. My fave musical theater is Phantom of the Opera. Yes, I admit , I sing in the shower but not anymore. I sing in my bedroom and living room a lot. – Jen F.

  • Annie Ngo
    REPLY

    Hi Fel,

    I feel that I can relate to everything you’re saying. I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels like having those moments of inspiration and moments of I’m not good enough. I always like to ask my music teachers why they didn’t pursue a music career themselves because you are the resource, and I’m glad you clarified your goals. Through your blog and youtube post, I feel that you are slowly answering questions I am looking for and that’s why I do want you to be my music teacher.

    One of the reasons I don’t feel good enough is because of how hard my choir teacher was on me when I did solos for competitions. I guess I feel like I’m not good enough unless I have validation that I am good enough. I don’t know where to start because I feel like I have the voice, but I need the resources as far as knowing where to start. I don’t want to be another youtuber singing other people’s songs but I also don’t know where to start.

    I think its good to clarify goals and it has definitely motivated me to do that. Thank you! I hope this gets to you because your honestly has truly been valuable.

    Annie Ngo

  • Sushant
    REPLY

    Really fel your evry technique helps me a ton..????really you are great…this was really a great discussion n’ also very true, i mean really i have felt such like that many a times n u hepled alot…thanks for being a boon..really fel…lovly!????????????

  • Sushant
    REPLY

    Hey fel ! Your all techniques alwys help me a ton…u r just mind blowing trainer…especially this one…u cant imagine how many times i gothrough this feeling…n it was really a great helpful hearing from u…lovly..thnx fel.

  • Liz
    REPLY

    Thanks for sharing. Your words were very important to me, because I can relate to.
    I’m a vocalist in a rock band, and lately I’ve been with no motivation and thinking about giving up the project.
    But with your testimony, I see that it’s ok to be down sometimes, but we can’t never stop fighting for what we love and make us happy!

    Thanks again!

  • Jessica
    REPLY

    Hi Felicia!

    Thanks for posting this – I don’t think this is addressed enough!

    I’m a full time live musician, singer and songwriter. I’m also a vocal teacher! I constantly tell my students to practice and that the voice is a muscle – you have to exercise it!

    I don’t practice. I also avoid songwriting – even though it’s my work! I only sing when I am on stage, and even then I push too much and often strain my voice from belting all night.

    My music partner is also my life partner, and he constantly gets up me for never singing except when I’m on stage.

    I need to get out of this rut!! Being classically trained I have lost most of the control in my voice and have now resorted to belting. I need to get back on top of my voice and start training it again, but living with several other people I feel I can’t make noise/ don’t want to practice in front of them. I need to find a way to get my voice back and my dedication – my NEED to sing! If I lost my voice completely, I don’t have a career anymore!! It’s all I’m good at!!

    Jess

    Jessica Allen Music
    Roses In Hand

  • Lonnie
    REPLY

    So grateful for what you do! This article was especially encouraging to me. I’ve heard great singers tell me that I could learn to sing well but I’ve been feeling frustrated lately and thought they must be saying this to me just to sell lessons. Hearing you describe your singing as something you’ve worked at your whole life and saying how a lack of practice caused you to struggle again with elements of your singing helped me to understand that my struggle is likely because I haven’t put in nearly the hours of practice that good singers do. I am inspired to continue and have recently thought that a singer’s ritual would be good for me. Reading that you had the same thing in mind made me feel I was on the right track! Thank you for your guidance! <3

  • Tracey Hirschy
    REPLY

    i do know if you are taking questions….but here goes….. so I’m practicing and singing and all of the sudden a song gets a bit high. still within my range, but at the top end& for whatever reason i want to sing it higher than its written. why oh, why in the world does this happen? its driving me nuts! i know it sounds like a weird observation and question. any thoughts? love your videos! the Belt your face off was so helpful!

  • Brianne M.
    REPLY

    Thank you. I just recently started actively singing again…after almost 10 years!!! I studied and performed regularly when I was younger, but other priorities took precedence in college. My life has taken some huge turns recently (moving across the country, quitting my job, etc.) and I finally realized that a piece of me was missing. I’ve started working on my voice (and ME, in general) again. It is sometimes a painful and discouraging process because I remember what I USED to be able to do… I know I need to focus on the present and how I am growing now instead of comparing myself to my past me (cuz I’m actually much cooler/more stable/wiser than she was anyway). I stumbled upon your videos on YouTube and have been so inspired. Even after 10 years of previous voice instruction, many of the things you say actually make more sense and have helped me understand things that I previously had not! I appreciate you and your spunkiness!

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