How can you tell which it is?
Read my story below, and then hit reply with your response. I want to hear from you.
(Warning: It's a long post...but it was important for me to write.)
It was freezing outside, and the sun hadn't fully risen. I checked my alarm clock and saw I was late for freshman English class.
I rolled out of my twin bed and hustled to my dorm bathroom.
While brushing my teeth, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a scale. On a whim, I decided to step on.
My heart sank.
I'd gained 20 pounds??
I felt totally awful looking at the number, but even worse when I turned back to the mirror.
What had happened?
I felt despair and confusion, a sense of futility, and the feeling that I'd failed myself.
But I had no idea what to do.
I guess I have no choice but to start working out and dieting....maybe?
I didn't even know what losing weight felt like.
Worse, I didn't even know if it was possible.
In my mind, I wasn't someone who "worked out." I wasn't someone who was "in shape" or would ever "look good enough."
I was just a theater nerd who liked to prance around and sing songs and eat whatever she wanted (pasta all day!) and not really think about her body.
So what was the point of trying?
Over the next many years I proceeded to yo-yo in weight by about 15 pounds each year, working out hard, then going for long stretches without touching a treadmill or a dumbbell.
I watched my body get stressed, gain weight, lose weight, gain strength, lose strength, and generally feel like crap most of the time.
As far as my body was concerned, I was still lost.
I felt frustrated, full of despair, and just as confused as I was on that day freshman year when I stepped on the scale.
All the while, I thought -- is there even a point?
- I thought -- no matter what I do, I'll just never be "hot enough."
- I thought -- I'll never be part of the "gifted elite class of hot people" who exude confidence and sexiness.
- I had such a skewed perception of my own body and potential, that I continually sabotaged myself at every turn.
To me, the point of fitness was to look good to others.
But oh my goodness, I was so, so, so wrong.
One afternoon this past March, after sitting hunched at my computer for hours on end, I stood up and realized my whole body ached from neglect.
I hadn't worked out in weeks. I was eating corn chips for lunch about 3 days a week. I hadn't touched a vegetable in who knows how long.
I knew I had to change -- not my body, but my point of view.
I was done using the world as a distorted mirror that showed me whether I was good or not.
I wanted to wake up and feel great in my clothes, to feel capable of running, sprinting, or dancing, or doing whatever the hell I wanted in my own body (and still sometimes eat pasta)!
When I finally realized this, it was a turning point.
The point of fitness (it turns out!) is to FEEL GREAT in your own skin!
To look good by your own standards and goals! Not for anyone else! For yourself! I'm screaming!
Working out lets you connect with your muscle tissue, and your skin, and your bones, and your lungs, and to celebrate your super capable bod every time you hit the weight room or the yoga mat.
I decided to COMMIT to working out, to eating more healthily, and to doing whatever it took to stay in touch with my body.
Not for anybody else, but for me.
Since then it's been slow, but every day feels like a chance to shake hands with myself and be like "Hey, Fel. I believe in you. I love you. Let's move our bods and celebrate the day."
So what the heck does this have to do with SINGING?
I need you to ask yourself : Why do you want to be able to sing?
- If you want to sing to PROVE to yourself (or to someone else) that you're good enough....
- If you want to sing to feel worthy, like you're one of those "gifted, elite, talented class" of people who sing....
- If you want to sing to once and for all feel like you have a right to be seen or heard....
You are sabotaging your own progress!
You, like me on my fitness journey, are not honoring the true reason why we sing.
So, what's the reason why we sing?
Take a deep breath.
We sing to feel joy.
That's it. End of story.
The "joy" has many wonderful, related effects, of course:
- We sing joyfully to connect with others.
- We sing joyfully to shed light on our humanity.
- We sing joyfully to process emotion and share our deepest feelings.
- We sing joyfully to get out of our own heads and feel connected to our bodies.
But at its core, singing is about joy.
Do you agree? Can you relate to this?
My singer friend, have you ever told yourself:
- "There's no point in my learning to sing, because I'll never have the tools? I'll never be good enough?"
- Have you let past bad experiences with voice teachers who told you "you just don't have what it takes?" hold you back from following your dreams?
- Have you had a "yo-yo diet" of making singing progress, only to feel discouraged the next month and like you've "lost it all"?
If so, I'm here to help. Once and for all.
It's time to get in touch with your SINGING JOY.
Once you let go of your sabotaging thoughts and your negative feedback loops -- and find EFFECTIVE METHODS THAT WORK -- there are no limits to what we can do together!
I want to show you exactly what I mean. I want to provide you with incredible tools both for your technical progress and for a huge mindset reboot.
It all starts with my free training series.
I am obsessed with this training series because it's so, so, so effective and in-depth (and 100% free).
If you can relate to my fitness yo-yo-ing story, and see the ways it parallels your own singing mindset, this voice training will be life-changing.
Sending love and JOY,
P.S. My free training series features over 90+ minutes of voice lessons, but also includes live events with me over the next couple weeks -- so I have to keep slots limited!!
Don't miss this!! I only do it a couple times per year, and will most likely discontinue it after this year.